"When God winks"

There's a book called "When God Winks" by SQuire Rushnell.  I haven't had the chance to read it yet, but it's on my list!  The preview/summary of the book describes, "How God speaks directly to you through the power of coincidence."  I usually call it a God-incidence, but I love the word "God-winks" so we'll go with that.

For several weeks I couldn't help but feel that God had almost been "radio silent."  I'd pray the same prayers over and over and over. "Please, Lord, move mountains to get such-and-such paper for us…" "Please give me peace of heart today…" "Please Lord, I need something. Give me something. I need to know You've got this…"  I can't even count the number of times that I've sat on the rocker in Eli's room at night, just praying and crying.  And sometimes I'd find myself just sitting on that rocker without any thoughts. Just kind of a numb feeling.  My mind eventually grew too exhausted from the hurdles and obstacles that have been coming at every. single. step -- and my heart eventually grew too weary to feel too much sometimes.  Think "zombie-like" wife/mom/teacher/friend -- all the time.  My poor mom -- having to work with me and share a living space with me!  One evening she just said something to the effect, "I know you've got a child on the other side of the world, but you've got to get yourself together and focus on the here and now…"  Nothing like a swift kick in the pants from Mom! Always seems to do the trick! ;)  And wouldn't you know -- that very night my cell phone completely fried.  No more frantic email checks or frenzied reads on the adoptive Facebook group I'm a part of.  That may just have been a much-needed "God-wink"!

And then I had the privilege of hearing an amazing Ethiopian pastor share 2 different messages in 1 day! He visits our church each year, and I am telling you -- this man is ANOINTED.  There is absolutely no other way to describe it.  I, of course, will not do justice in trying to re-tell his messages. But for the sake of me trying to record this for Eli some day, I'll do my best.

Dr. B's first message was on John 11.  You know the story -- it's the one of Lazarus and Mary and Martha.  Lazarus is very sick and the sisters say to Jesus, "Come quickly!" -- and Jesus comes 4 days later.  4 days later!  How many times do we say this same thing -- "Come quickly!" ?  (This alone gave me great pause.)

When Jesus finally arrived, Lazarus had already died.  The very FIRST thing Jesus did upon arriving was GIVE THANKS to God.  (What!? Give thanks!? For what?? Jesus' very special friend had just died!) We must always look UP and give Thanks.  No matter the circumstances.   And then Jesus said, "REMOVE THE STONES".  Dr. B described the stones as barriers between ourselves and Jesus.  Stones are dry and hard.  (Hmmm…. yup, I've definitely got me some barriers right now. And they're barriers that I've placed.  Anxiety, fear, worry, lack of faith and hope, impatience….) Now by this time, Mary and Martha, and even Jesus' disciples could not understand why Jesus would want the stones removed.  After all, Lazarus had already died.  But Jesus' act of having the stones removed reminds us that if we ONLY BELIEVE, we will see the glory of God in our future.  Everything that we do, should be to bring glory to God!

And then Jesus proclaimed, "Lazarus, COME OUT!"  Dr. B related this to DOING SOMETHING. If you feel a pull, a push, a tug.  Do! Something! The glory of God will be behind you.

And finally, Jesus said, "UNBIND HIM."  In other words, Go. And Do.  The will of God.

AMEN to that!!

Then that evening I went to a smaller service, again with Dr. B.  His message was all about "Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!"  "Trust ME", He says.  God-wink! :)  I was a hot mess.  Like totally and completely.  Tears and mascara were running all the way down my neck. My cheeks and ears were on fire. My nose was running and I had no kleenex! I think at one point I even snorted a little.  But whatever.  I went to Dr. B for prayer and right then and there, I could feel the Spirit move within me and bring me peace. 4 days later we were finally submitted for our 1st court date.

And then -- just a few days ago, I found another God-wink in the form of a sweet gift-wrapped package and card tucked inside our storm door.  The gift -- a beautiful reminder of Our Hope -- and of God's promises for Eli and our family.   From a dear dear friend, that knows all about digging deep for Hope.  My sweet friend -- (you know who you are) -- you lifted me up when I opened this and read your words, and each time I look at your beautiful gift.   I lift prayers for you and yours.  XOXO {But I'd really like to know at what time of day/night you slipped that little package in my door!!} :)

"When God winks, He is reaffirming that there is absolutely nothing about us that He does not know -- our every hurt.  Our every desire.  And that, to me, is very comforting." - SQuire Rushnell