Very soon I will write a proper post about 2013's blessings, since 2014 is right around the corner! But for now I am leaving just a tiny little update on where things are at with our process.
Embassy in Ethiopia conducted a special interview with a key person involved in Eli's case. It was originally scheduled to be on Dec. 11, but due to a very strange circumstance, it didn't end up happening and we were re-scheduled to Dec. 18th. Things went very well that day! :) Yay! I tell you what -- talk about holding your breath! I emailed our case worker that morning just to tell her that my heart was pounding. {You know -- so she wouldn't forget to let us know how the interview went! ;)} But praise God that it went well the 2nd time!
We are now waiting on one more piece of completion for the orphan investigation, and I am PRAYING that we hear good news tomorrow from Ethiopia that we've cleared!!
So then what?
Well -- our case will be submitted back to the US for a final processing, which will likely take about 4-5 weeks. Once we are cleared with that, then we will be submitted to Ethiopia again for a court date! We are hoping that our court date will be Feb./ March.
I can feel that things are closing in and we're getting so much closer to bringing home sweet Eli! But with each step in the process, I am still so anxious. My head and heart are completely consumed with all things Eli or Ethiopia:
* Every morning on our way to school, Tenleigh asks, "what's Baby Eli doing right now Mom?"
* I constantly check the time to try to "guess" what he may be doing at the different hours of the day. Ethiopia is 9 hours ahead of our time.
* Eli's sweet face is burned in my memory. But lucky for me, we get monthly pictures from our agency as well as several pictures from other adoptive parents that are already over there and snapping pictures for us!
* The other night while running, I fixated on a van in the parking lot that I was facing. And I imagined it to be a van that we might see in Ethiopia, with a charming driver, taking us to the care center to meet Eli for the first time. I went through this scenario a million times in my head that evening, all the while staring at this navy blue van. But it sure made my run go faster and easier! ;)
* As part of our Christmas baking, Tenleigh and I made Spritz cookies in the shape of Africa! Spritz cookies!! Ha! ;) They were pretty hefty Spritz cookies! :)
* I think I've narrowed down the paint color for Eli's bedroom! And I picked up his bedding earlier this week from my friend Amber!
* I've started to make a to-do list of little things to do and prepare before Eli comes home.
Oh, this wait is gruesome. And yet I must remind myself how blessed I am. I hear such sad stories about other families' current adoption experiences and my heart just crumbles for them.
Tonight after I ran I came upon Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me…" I find such peace in knowing that God is concerned with everything that concerns me. I will rest in this promise tonight!
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Adoption Blogger Interview!
If there's anything that I think an adoptive momma needs to have, it's an Adoption Doula!! My great new friend Nancy (whom I've never even been able to meet yet!!) is my on-line doula. She and I check in with each other every day via Facebook, we are doing this run challenge together, and her family's adoption timeline is following right in line with ours, through our same agency! It's been a true blessing to have her friendship the last few months. I really hope to meet her some day... perhaps in Ethiopia!!
And then I have a true, face-to-face doula! One I get together with often, text daily, pray for and get together with for play-dates/family dates. I know I've mentioned Esther in other blog posts. Not only is she a dear friend to me, but she's also a soon-to-be adoptive momma! We've been through the highs and lows together on this roller coaster ride and I've been so thankful to have her as my "ride along" buddy! Plus she's a native of Germany and has this incredibly fun accent; not to mention she uses words like "wonky" and has been SO encouraging in my crazy running adventure!
She shared this fun idea with me about doing an adoption blogger interview. Apparently adoption bloggers can connect and basically 'interview' each other about their personal adoption experiences. So we decided "Why not!?" and interviewed each other so-to-speak.
Below are Esther's responses to the questions we came up with. Let me tell you --- this girl has a heart of GOLD!
And if you're curious about my responses to Esther at her Little Wonders Blog: http://estherslittlewonders.blogspot.com/2013/12/adoption-blogger-interview.html
And then I have a true, face-to-face doula! One I get together with often, text daily, pray for and get together with for play-dates/family dates. I know I've mentioned Esther in other blog posts. Not only is she a dear friend to me, but she's also a soon-to-be adoptive momma! We've been through the highs and lows together on this roller coaster ride and I've been so thankful to have her as my "ride along" buddy! Plus she's a native of Germany and has this incredibly fun accent; not to mention she uses words like "wonky" and has been SO encouraging in my crazy running adventure!
She shared this fun idea with me about doing an adoption blogger interview. Apparently adoption bloggers can connect and basically 'interview' each other about their personal adoption experiences. So we decided "Why not!?" and interviewed each other so-to-speak.
Below are Esther's responses to the questions we came up with. Let me tell you --- this girl has a heart of GOLD!
* Esther, tell us about your family: Bjorn and I met our freshman year in college. I was his German tutor for a year - and the rest is history :) We've been married for almost 10 years and have two beautiful daughters: 4.5 year old identical twin girls Liana and Amaya. Bjorn is a pastor, and I am a part-time fitness instructor/personal trainer and a full-time mommy! I was born and raised in Germany, and we've had the privilege of living there as a couple for a while after we got married.
* Why did you decide to adopt? Liana and Amaya came to us after a painful struggle with infertility, and an even scarier struggle with a life-threatening in-utero conidition called "Twin-to-Twin-transfusion." However, infertility wasn't really what brought us to adoption - I think it just kind of opened our eyes to other ways of growing your family; and the length and cost of an international adoption didn't seem quite so scary after lengthy and costly infertility treatments! Bjorn always had a heart for orphans, and after I started to expose myself to the reality of the devastating conditions in which millions of orphans live today, it really became quite simple in our minds: Here we were, a family with room in their hearts and lives for another child - and there are millions of children without proper nutrition, medical care, and most importantly, someone to love and care for them. So the question wasn't so much: "Why adopt?" - it became: "Why not?!"
* Where are you in the adoption process? We started our adoption journey over 18 months ago, and are currently waiting for a referral of a male child, age 0-2 from Ethiopia - which we are told should come very soon! We know that our future child will have some special medical needs, along with the developmental delays and effects of malnutrition most internationally institutionalized children deal with.
* Do you have any advice for others considering international adoption? - Research! The country you adopt from, the age, gender, special needs status of your child, and maybe most importantly the agency you choose are all very important considerations. There are frequent questions that surface about adoption ethics in certain countries and even adoption agencies, and while you can't believe everything you hear out there (!!), you want to feel as confident as possibly about your choices ... especially when the going gets tough, which it will.
- Prepare! There are so many incredible resources out there for adoptive families and on parenting children from tough places, and while you are in the midst of the seemingly never-ending process of waiting, you want to take the opportunity and arm yourself with the needed skills for the real adventure ahead: parenting your adopted child.
- Surround yourself with uplifting people. The international adoption process might just be the biggest roller coaster you will ever go through in your life, and you might have days when you are wondering how on earth you can go on after yet another set-back, or when you are so worn down by the process that you are wondering if you are even doing the right thing, and that's when you want people around you that support and encourage you.
- Have faith. Personally, I can't imagine going through this process without my faith - because quite frankly, it is a very scary thing at times! And in the end, I just have to hold on to believing that we're doing the right thing, and that God will see it through for us.
- Lastly, and this is a tough one for all those Type A personalities out there: Get used to the fact that you are not in charge. I jokingly tell people that you'll need to get used to getting jerked around a lot, because that's what it feels like!
* Do you have any advise for supporting people around you that are in the adoption process? Most people will most likely never adopt, and that's ok. Adoption is not for everyone. But almost every person knows someone who is adopting - and chances are, they would love your support! Honestly, we've treasured the prayers of family and friends the most, as they mean so much. But the occassional thoughtful text or e-mail, just letting us know that they are thinking of us, even (and especially) during the long months of waiting has really lifted our spirits. We were completely blown away by the financial support we received from family and friends after our first adoption agency went bankrupt. It was nothing we would have ever expected, but the unfortunate reality is that international adoption is very, very expensive. And to have friends and family help us lift that financial burden lifted a little was a huge blessing.
Also, I think adoptive families might need the biggest support AFTER their children come home. There will be a huge adjustment phase when they will spend almost all of their energy and time helping their new children adjust to life in a family, and I'm sure that's when they would love tangible support like dropped-off meals and the like. The reality is also this: While many adopted children adjust perfectly fine, there are also many adopted children who might have some special developmental and other needs, and it might be a bit of a rough go for the family, which is when they might need friends and family that can love and accept them AND their newest addition just the way they are.
* Why did you decide to adopt? Liana and Amaya came to us after a painful struggle with infertility, and an even scarier struggle with a life-threatening in-utero conidition called "Twin-to-Twin-transfusion." However, infertility wasn't really what brought us to adoption - I think it just kind of opened our eyes to other ways of growing your family; and the length and cost of an international adoption didn't seem quite so scary after lengthy and costly infertility treatments! Bjorn always had a heart for orphans, and after I started to expose myself to the reality of the devastating conditions in which millions of orphans live today, it really became quite simple in our minds: Here we were, a family with room in their hearts and lives for another child - and there are millions of children without proper nutrition, medical care, and most importantly, someone to love and care for them. So the question wasn't so much: "Why adopt?" - it became: "Why not?!"
* Where are you in the adoption process? We started our adoption journey over 18 months ago, and are currently waiting for a referral of a male child, age 0-2 from Ethiopia - which we are told should come very soon! We know that our future child will have some special medical needs, along with the developmental delays and effects of malnutrition most internationally institutionalized children deal with.
* Do you have any advice for others considering international adoption? - Research! The country you adopt from, the age, gender, special needs status of your child, and maybe most importantly the agency you choose are all very important considerations. There are frequent questions that surface about adoption ethics in certain countries and even adoption agencies, and while you can't believe everything you hear out there (!!), you want to feel as confident as possibly about your choices ... especially when the going gets tough, which it will.
- Prepare! There are so many incredible resources out there for adoptive families and on parenting children from tough places, and while you are in the midst of the seemingly never-ending process of waiting, you want to take the opportunity and arm yourself with the needed skills for the real adventure ahead: parenting your adopted child.
- Surround yourself with uplifting people. The international adoption process might just be the biggest roller coaster you will ever go through in your life, and you might have days when you are wondering how on earth you can go on after yet another set-back, or when you are so worn down by the process that you are wondering if you are even doing the right thing, and that's when you want people around you that support and encourage you.
- Have faith. Personally, I can't imagine going through this process without my faith - because quite frankly, it is a very scary thing at times! And in the end, I just have to hold on to believing that we're doing the right thing, and that God will see it through for us.
- Lastly, and this is a tough one for all those Type A personalities out there: Get used to the fact that you are not in charge. I jokingly tell people that you'll need to get used to getting jerked around a lot, because that's what it feels like!
* Do you have any advise for supporting people around you that are in the adoption process? Most people will most likely never adopt, and that's ok. Adoption is not for everyone. But almost every person knows someone who is adopting - and chances are, they would love your support! Honestly, we've treasured the prayers of family and friends the most, as they mean so much. But the occassional thoughtful text or e-mail, just letting us know that they are thinking of us, even (and especially) during the long months of waiting has really lifted our spirits. We were completely blown away by the financial support we received from family and friends after our first adoption agency went bankrupt. It was nothing we would have ever expected, but the unfortunate reality is that international adoption is very, very expensive. And to have friends and family help us lift that financial burden lifted a little was a huge blessing.
Also, I think adoptive families might need the biggest support AFTER their children come home. There will be a huge adjustment phase when they will spend almost all of their energy and time helping their new children adjust to life in a family, and I'm sure that's when they would love tangible support like dropped-off meals and the like. The reality is also this: While many adopted children adjust perfectly fine, there are also many adopted children who might have some special developmental and other needs, and it might be a bit of a rough go for the family, which is when they might need friends and family that can love and accept them AND their newest addition just the way they are.
And if you're curious about my responses to Esther at her Little Wonders Blog: http://estherslittlewonders.blogspot.com/2013/12/adoption-blogger-interview.html
Sunday, November 17, 2013
He Meets Me There....
I can't believe that I'm actually ENJOYING this part of our journey. Not the unknowns. Not the questions and confusion. Not the roller-coaster of emotions: often fear, and sometimes sadness. These parts I do not enjoy. But I am finding joy and gratitude in a very unusual and unexpected (for me, especially) place.
I completed another run the other night. And for me, it was the most I've EVER run! 2 MILES!! For most people that's probably no big deal -- but for me, it really is a minor miracle. :) When I started this, I really had no intention of ever enjoying it. But I knew I had big motivations: my health, my children, my husband, lots of stressors in my life right now that I need to release, lots of prayers to lift up....
And so I started this journey of "running". And I call it "running" loosely, because I really am like Eeyore running. No kidding. And this "running" has NEVER been something I've identified with. (I just know that people that know me well are probably laughing out loud right now, maybe recalling some disastrous memories!) Physical activity leaves me feeling VERY vulnerable. Bless the hearts of my former phy ed teachers -- I never knew where to run, to whom to throw a ball, if the game had innings, quarters, or whatever. Just totally not my thing. Put me in a choir to sing, or next to a child, or with a sweet elderly person, and I feel much more in my element. But definitely not on the treadmill. And definitely not RUNNING on a treadmill.
But He meets me there. Every. Single. Time.
And so I started praying. My dear friend Katy has this thing where she chooses someone to pray for every time she runs. I think that's absolutely beautiful. And so, taking inspiration from that, and knowing that I needed serious divine intervention to get me to complete any sort of run, I started doing the same thing.
And He meets me there.
Sometimes I get on that treadmill and I know full well what I'll be praying about. I have lots to say to Him. I love lots to listen for. And other times I get on, and the Holy Spirit just moves things in me.
I started running with this little mantra that I find myself chanting, now every time I run... "Raise up something holy in me..."
I believe that God is doing something in me during this time of wait and helplessness. I think that He's using this time to heal some things within me, to bring my heart ever closer to Eli, and to impassion my roles as mother and wife.
I LOVE my time on the treadmill -- (Did I REALLY just say that!?) -- but I love it because it's my holy time with God. He is raising up something holy in me: physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And I love it.
I completed another run the other night. And for me, it was the most I've EVER run! 2 MILES!! For most people that's probably no big deal -- but for me, it really is a minor miracle. :) When I started this, I really had no intention of ever enjoying it. But I knew I had big motivations: my health, my children, my husband, lots of stressors in my life right now that I need to release, lots of prayers to lift up....
And so I started this journey of "running". And I call it "running" loosely, because I really am like Eeyore running. No kidding. And this "running" has NEVER been something I've identified with. (I just know that people that know me well are probably laughing out loud right now, maybe recalling some disastrous memories!) Physical activity leaves me feeling VERY vulnerable. Bless the hearts of my former phy ed teachers -- I never knew where to run, to whom to throw a ball, if the game had innings, quarters, or whatever. Just totally not my thing. Put me in a choir to sing, or next to a child, or with a sweet elderly person, and I feel much more in my element. But definitely not on the treadmill. And definitely not RUNNING on a treadmill.
But He meets me there. Every. Single. Time.
And so I started praying. My dear friend Katy has this thing where she chooses someone to pray for every time she runs. I think that's absolutely beautiful. And so, taking inspiration from that, and knowing that I needed serious divine intervention to get me to complete any sort of run, I started doing the same thing.
And He meets me there.
Sometimes I get on that treadmill and I know full well what I'll be praying about. I have lots to say to Him. I love lots to listen for. And other times I get on, and the Holy Spirit just moves things in me.
I started running with this little mantra that I find myself chanting, now every time I run... "Raise up something holy in me..."
I believe that God is doing something in me during this time of wait and helplessness. I think that He's using this time to heal some things within me, to bring my heart ever closer to Eli, and to impassion my roles as mother and wife.
I LOVE my time on the treadmill -- (Did I REALLY just say that!?) -- but I love it because it's my holy time with God. He is raising up something holy in me: physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And I love it.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
He's Always Been Faithful
Yesterday I finally tackled the much dreaded task of trying to get our basement organized. It's only been about 9 weeks since we moved my craft room down there. I've been procrastinating that project like nobody's business. And today it still looks like I didn't even touch it. Lovely.
But as I was down there, sorting through things, I found some sheet music of a song that I sang at a women's event last spring. I opened up the music, just to refresh myself on the lyrics, because I love them so much. The tune is equally beautiful, so if you're not familiar with the song, please look it up on YouTube.
He's Always Been Faithful -- by Sara Groves
Morning by morning, I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season, I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.
I can't remember a trial or pain,
He did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.
This is my anthem, this is my song.
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, He will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.
This journey to Eli... started almost 5 years ago. What a gift it is, now, to see how God started to pave a path in our lives to little Eli. This path has not always been what I imagined it to be -- but God has always been faithful and he's always answered my prayers. (Not always in the ways I've asked, mind you! But faithful -- always.)
2008 - Tenleigh was born! Shortly thereafter, like electricity going through my body, the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart that our next child would not be born of me. Our family would grow by means of adoption. I waited a few months to tell Ryan about this. :)
2010 - I am feeling the prompting to leave public teaching. I love teaching. I got to work with the best-of-the-best. But I knew I needed a change. However, this would also mean that our monthly income would change significantly. Adoption was still very much on my heart (Ryan was warming up to the idea); and so every financial decision for our family was also centered around the hope of adopting. I had no plans for what I'd do for work.
2011 - I left my public teaching job with total and complete peace, knowing this was also a leap of faith. In June, only 2 hours before the job posting closed (!), I "happened upon" a posting for a co-teaching position in my resident school district. The very next morning I had an email asking me to come in that same morning for an interview. I got the job. 15 hours per week, as a co-teacher for Grades K-2. I also was hired to work with our Children and Family Ministry at church for 10 hours per week. Amazing. Now I was up to 25 hours per week. And again, by God's grace, mid-August rolled around and I was contacted by a local University to work with their Elementary Education students during their student teaching semester. This was truly a dream job for me. For 1 year I had the joy of sometimes teaching Kindergarteners and college Seniors all in the same day! :) God is so faithful. It is this year that Ryan and I finally say YES to adoption!! We applied for a domestic adoption program, and then soon afterwards changed to international adoption. We would be adopting from Haiti!!
2012 - I was hired to start up a Kindergarten Program at our church. This dream opportunity allowed for me to have Johnathan in my classroom, and to also be down the hallway from Tenleigh. No more traveling for work either! God is so faithful. We are full-force in our adoption journey. But no longer adopting a sweet one from Haiti. That door was closed about 6 months into this journey. With open hearts, we chose a new country, Ethiopia, and a new adoption agency. God is so faithful.
2013 - Bumpy start to this year, but the tail end has been full of miracles! Our 2nd adoption agency suddenly filed for bankruptcy. We truly lost all financial investments and can not even begin to imagine starting over. Again. Friends, family, and even strangers rally around us and help us with "seed" funds to keep going. God is so faithful. We finally find a new (this is #3) agency (after a few doors closed with others, of course) and are able to join their waiting list rather quickly. God is so faithful. My parents take a leap of faith and move to our state, just minutes away from us! Mom accepts a position as an assistant in my classroom! (Does it get any better than that!? She taught for over 20 years!) God is so faithful. Show Hope Ministries gifts us with an adoption grant. God is so faithful.
And now, just 17 weeks after first seeing Eli's beautiful face, God still remains so faithful. We are still waiting for 1 last piece of paperwork to come in. His MOWA letter. And prayerfully, that will happen soon. Apparently the office that provides these letters decided to close 2 weeks ago. We have no idea when/if it will re-open. But this stuff happens in Africa all. the. time. And so, because we serve a God that has always been faithful, we must also be faith FULL in Him.
Today is Orphan Sunday. The one day, one time per year in which churches and God's people should STAND UP for the orphan. There are 153 million orphans that need our voices, our hearts, our prayers, and our serving hands. There is much to do with this orphan crisis. But perhaps today, you would please join us in praying that this regional MOWA office will re-open very soon. For it is not just Eli that is waiting on a letter. There are probably thousands of children that need this office to re-open. I also ask you to pray for 7 specific orphans and their families that are close to my heart: Baby L. (C&K's little), Beautiful R. (J & B's sweet girl), Little D (E & B's future boy), Sweet T. (N & J's tiny one), Babies K (M & L's twin girls), and our own Little Eli.
He's always been faithful. He will be again.
But as I was down there, sorting through things, I found some sheet music of a song that I sang at a women's event last spring. I opened up the music, just to refresh myself on the lyrics, because I love them so much. The tune is equally beautiful, so if you're not familiar with the song, please look it up on YouTube.
He's Always Been Faithful -- by Sara Groves
Morning by morning, I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season, I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.
I can't remember a trial or pain,
He did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.
This is my anthem, this is my song.
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, He will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.
This journey to Eli... started almost 5 years ago. What a gift it is, now, to see how God started to pave a path in our lives to little Eli. This path has not always been what I imagined it to be -- but God has always been faithful and he's always answered my prayers. (Not always in the ways I've asked, mind you! But faithful -- always.)
2008 - Tenleigh was born! Shortly thereafter, like electricity going through my body, the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart that our next child would not be born of me. Our family would grow by means of adoption. I waited a few months to tell Ryan about this. :)
2010 - I am feeling the prompting to leave public teaching. I love teaching. I got to work with the best-of-the-best. But I knew I needed a change. However, this would also mean that our monthly income would change significantly. Adoption was still very much on my heart (Ryan was warming up to the idea); and so every financial decision for our family was also centered around the hope of adopting. I had no plans for what I'd do for work.
2011 - I left my public teaching job with total and complete peace, knowing this was also a leap of faith. In June, only 2 hours before the job posting closed (!), I "happened upon" a posting for a co-teaching position in my resident school district. The very next morning I had an email asking me to come in that same morning for an interview. I got the job. 15 hours per week, as a co-teacher for Grades K-2. I also was hired to work with our Children and Family Ministry at church for 10 hours per week. Amazing. Now I was up to 25 hours per week. And again, by God's grace, mid-August rolled around and I was contacted by a local University to work with their Elementary Education students during their student teaching semester. This was truly a dream job for me. For 1 year I had the joy of sometimes teaching Kindergarteners and college Seniors all in the same day! :) God is so faithful. It is this year that Ryan and I finally say YES to adoption!! We applied for a domestic adoption program, and then soon afterwards changed to international adoption. We would be adopting from Haiti!!
2012 - I was hired to start up a Kindergarten Program at our church. This dream opportunity allowed for me to have Johnathan in my classroom, and to also be down the hallway from Tenleigh. No more traveling for work either! God is so faithful. We are full-force in our adoption journey. But no longer adopting a sweet one from Haiti. That door was closed about 6 months into this journey. With open hearts, we chose a new country, Ethiopia, and a new adoption agency. God is so faithful.
2013 - Bumpy start to this year, but the tail end has been full of miracles! Our 2nd adoption agency suddenly filed for bankruptcy. We truly lost all financial investments and can not even begin to imagine starting over. Again. Friends, family, and even strangers rally around us and help us with "seed" funds to keep going. God is so faithful. We finally find a new (this is #3) agency (after a few doors closed with others, of course) and are able to join their waiting list rather quickly. God is so faithful. My parents take a leap of faith and move to our state, just minutes away from us! Mom accepts a position as an assistant in my classroom! (Does it get any better than that!? She taught for over 20 years!) God is so faithful. Show Hope Ministries gifts us with an adoption grant. God is so faithful.
And now, just 17 weeks after first seeing Eli's beautiful face, God still remains so faithful. We are still waiting for 1 last piece of paperwork to come in. His MOWA letter. And prayerfully, that will happen soon. Apparently the office that provides these letters decided to close 2 weeks ago. We have no idea when/if it will re-open. But this stuff happens in Africa all. the. time. And so, because we serve a God that has always been faithful, we must also be faith FULL in Him.
Today is Orphan Sunday. The one day, one time per year in which churches and God's people should STAND UP for the orphan. There are 153 million orphans that need our voices, our hearts, our prayers, and our serving hands. There is much to do with this orphan crisis. But perhaps today, you would please join us in praying that this regional MOWA office will re-open very soon. For it is not just Eli that is waiting on a letter. There are probably thousands of children that need this office to re-open. I also ask you to pray for 7 specific orphans and their families that are close to my heart: Baby L. (C&K's little), Beautiful R. (J & B's sweet girl), Little D (E & B's future boy), Sweet T. (N & J's tiny one), Babies K (M & L's twin girls), and our own Little Eli.
He's always been faithful. He will be again.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
1 Down, 2 To Go...
Good news -- we have the needed signature!!! We received notification of that last week. Now we wait for 2 more pieces: birth certificate and final MOWA letter. This is taking a while because they're both given by the same government entity (apparently)
We are in our 12th week of waiting for paperwork. Ugh. That's the best I've got for words. Just completely UGH. This is apparently not a typical length of time to wait for these documents -- but who's to say what's typical anyway? Nothing about our adoption has been "typical" so far. :)
We pray, we wait. We pray, we wait.
We are in our 12th week of waiting for paperwork. Ugh. That's the best I've got for words. Just completely UGH. This is apparently not a typical length of time to wait for these documents -- but who's to say what's typical anyway? Nothing about our adoption has been "typical" so far. :)
We pray, we wait. We pray, we wait.
Friday, September 20, 2013
8 Weeks Later....
... and still waiting on a single, simple, yet ever-so-important signature!!! I think I'm going to lose it. Mmmmm.... No, I already have.
We accepted our referral of Eli on July 26th. Since that time, we've been chomping at the bit, checking email a million times a day, and constantly checking in with our agency, to see if "the signature" has come in yet. Ugh. Apparently one particular orphanage director (where Eli was before coming into the care of our agency) has decided that it's really not a big deal to sign or not to sign any documents right now. We already know that time is of no essence to most Africans, but apparently this guy also likes to take advantage of having some control... and so it is that Eli, and other sweet littles, sit in our agency's care center for even longer than necessary. So. Frustrating.
I am in constant prayer over these circumstances. Every morning I wake up with a prayer as I once again check my email. I fall asleep as I pray (oops!), and I pray on the treadmill. I am in His Word every day and I'm faithfully reading my special devotional. One of my sweet Kindergarten moms prays for this every morning on her way home after dropping off her daughter at school. And I have a handful of incredibly faithful prayer warrior sisters that have been lifting this up too.
So why are we still waiting?? Why is ELI still waiting??? Can you tell that there's a part of me that's feeling not just frustrated but also very helpless?
But so it is -- and I can't change the circumstances right now -- and this is just the way it goes with international adoption. So NOT in our timing nor the way we'd like the process to go.
I'm reading a book called The Circle Makers. It's a great book about prayer circles; a quick and easy read. But one thing that has stood out to me this week, probably because of my slump, is that the author reminds us that prayer is not just to ASK for something, but it's also to PRAISE.
And so, this week I have been very intentional in my PRAISE prayers...
He has put the most amazing friends in my life:
* My super supportive and thoughtful friend Amber wore our adoption t-shirt for her roller blade marathon last weekend! I LOVED getting her text picture last Saturday. :) And every day she seems to find a few minutes in her day to send me encouraging, sweet text messages just to remind me that she's "tuned in"and cheering for Eli!
* Karen, who keeps me LAUGHING, running, praying, and laughing some more! :)
* My best homie, Esther -- she just gets it and gets me.
* Jenny, Katie, Lisa, Leah, and Steph -- who like to "check in" and get updates. Even if there's nothing new.
* And many friends far away that I can feel are thinking of and praying for little Eli and this crazy road of adoption.
He has given me the most amazing family:
* Johnathan and Tenleigh are HEALTHY and HAPPY and their first weeks of school are going great!!
* Ryan's weekly tradition of driving with the kids to the SA gas station down the road to get Icees. Daddy has become Tenleigh's heartthrob for these special dates, as she has picked out just one special cologne that he must put on, just for Icee dates! :) Seriously. Melt my heart.
* I get to work with my mom every day! The most amazing teacher ever.
* Mom and Dad are just minutes away!
* My brother suggested the name Eli. :) And he has the sweetest family! I am so in love with my little nephews and couldn't be more thankful for my sister Anna.
* Ryan -- "Steady Eddie". :) Need I say more? I love him big.
I am seeing how He started carving our path to Eli years ago:
--- but I think that's for another blog post. That may be a long one. :)
We accepted our referral of Eli on July 26th. Since that time, we've been chomping at the bit, checking email a million times a day, and constantly checking in with our agency, to see if "the signature" has come in yet. Ugh. Apparently one particular orphanage director (where Eli was before coming into the care of our agency) has decided that it's really not a big deal to sign or not to sign any documents right now. We already know that time is of no essence to most Africans, but apparently this guy also likes to take advantage of having some control... and so it is that Eli, and other sweet littles, sit in our agency's care center for even longer than necessary. So. Frustrating.
I am in constant prayer over these circumstances. Every morning I wake up with a prayer as I once again check my email. I fall asleep as I pray (oops!), and I pray on the treadmill. I am in His Word every day and I'm faithfully reading my special devotional. One of my sweet Kindergarten moms prays for this every morning on her way home after dropping off her daughter at school. And I have a handful of incredibly faithful prayer warrior sisters that have been lifting this up too.
So why are we still waiting?? Why is ELI still waiting??? Can you tell that there's a part of me that's feeling not just frustrated but also very helpless?
But so it is -- and I can't change the circumstances right now -- and this is just the way it goes with international adoption. So NOT in our timing nor the way we'd like the process to go.
I'm reading a book called The Circle Makers. It's a great book about prayer circles; a quick and easy read. But one thing that has stood out to me this week, probably because of my slump, is that the author reminds us that prayer is not just to ASK for something, but it's also to PRAISE.
And so, this week I have been very intentional in my PRAISE prayers...
He has put the most amazing friends in my life:
* My super supportive and thoughtful friend Amber wore our adoption t-shirt for her roller blade marathon last weekend! I LOVED getting her text picture last Saturday. :) And every day she seems to find a few minutes in her day to send me encouraging, sweet text messages just to remind me that she's "tuned in"and cheering for Eli!
* Karen, who keeps me LAUGHING, running, praying, and laughing some more! :)
* My best homie, Esther -- she just gets it and gets me.
* Jenny, Katie, Lisa, Leah, and Steph -- who like to "check in" and get updates. Even if there's nothing new.
* And many friends far away that I can feel are thinking of and praying for little Eli and this crazy road of adoption.
He has given me the most amazing family:
* Johnathan and Tenleigh are HEALTHY and HAPPY and their first weeks of school are going great!!
* Ryan's weekly tradition of driving with the kids to the SA gas station down the road to get Icees. Daddy has become Tenleigh's heartthrob for these special dates, as she has picked out just one special cologne that he must put on, just for Icee dates! :) Seriously. Melt my heart.
* I get to work with my mom every day! The most amazing teacher ever.
* Mom and Dad are just minutes away!
* My brother suggested the name Eli. :) And he has the sweetest family! I am so in love with my little nephews and couldn't be more thankful for my sister Anna.
* Ryan -- "Steady Eddie". :) Need I say more? I love him big.
I am seeing how He started carving our path to Eli years ago:
--- but I think that's for another blog post. That may be a long one. :)
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Your name shall be...
Yesterday I saw your beautiful face again. Our agency sent us another picture and milestone checklist. You are the most BEAUTIFUL brown baby I've EVER seen!! {And the only reason I need to add "brown" to this equation is because I've also seen the most beautiful white baby boy and white baby girl -- aka your brother and sister. :)}
I am over-flowing with gratitude that from your pictures you look healthy and loved and as though you're being taken care of! Your cheeks are full and your hair is growing in so much! In fact, the picture we received a few weeks ago... I wasn't quite sure it was YOU, so I hemmed and hawed for a full day -- comparing that picture to your referral pictures.... I even asked for some "expert advice" from my dear friend Karen from Liberia, and she LAUGHED and laughed at me!! Because your hair is getting so curly, and your lips are filling out! And she reminded me that this is what happens to African babies. :) But you are absolutely precious and beautiful and I can't wait to hold you.
Tonight the house is quiet. Daddy took Johnathan and Tenleigh to the pool to swim. I love a quiet house!! But I do notice that the quiet makes my heart hurt more. It forces me to slow down, and in so doing, my mind automatically thinks of you, sweet boy. Sometimes it's really hard for me to stop the tears. But it's also a really good time for me to Be Still and Pray.
Sweet boy, you have a name!! You have a beautiful Ethiopian given name, with very special meaning to us... but because Daddy has a hard time pronouncing it :), we're going to use your special Ethiopian name as a middle name. Daddy and I narrowed down our choices to 2 names that we love, and we left the final decision up to your brother and sister. We thought that would be a special thing to do! And it was! When we explained to them that THEY got to choose your name, Johnny had the sweetest, biggest smile. Tenleigh was ready to go right away and nodded her head, grabbed the pen from my hand and knew exactly what she was going to do. She got down to business right away! :) We love the name that Johnathan and Tenleigh have chosen for you:
And so your name will be Eli A------- James Vick. James is Daddy's middle name. I love the meanings of each part of your name too. Eli = "Lifted to God", A------ (Ethiopian-given name) = "Our Hope", and James = "servant heart" or "supplanter". {I like "servant heart" better, so we'll go with that one :)} Not sure if we'll use James or A------ first, so the order of your middle names may change.
I am over-flowing with gratitude that from your pictures you look healthy and loved and as though you're being taken care of! Your cheeks are full and your hair is growing in so much! In fact, the picture we received a few weeks ago... I wasn't quite sure it was YOU, so I hemmed and hawed for a full day -- comparing that picture to your referral pictures.... I even asked for some "expert advice" from my dear friend Karen from Liberia, and she LAUGHED and laughed at me!! Because your hair is getting so curly, and your lips are filling out! And she reminded me that this is what happens to African babies. :) But you are absolutely precious and beautiful and I can't wait to hold you.
Tonight the house is quiet. Daddy took Johnathan and Tenleigh to the pool to swim. I love a quiet house!! But I do notice that the quiet makes my heart hurt more. It forces me to slow down, and in so doing, my mind automatically thinks of you, sweet boy. Sometimes it's really hard for me to stop the tears. But it's also a really good time for me to Be Still and Pray.
Sweet boy, you have a name!! You have a beautiful Ethiopian given name, with very special meaning to us... but because Daddy has a hard time pronouncing it :), we're going to use your special Ethiopian name as a middle name. Daddy and I narrowed down our choices to 2 names that we love, and we left the final decision up to your brother and sister. We thought that would be a special thing to do! And it was! When we explained to them that THEY got to choose your name, Johnny had the sweetest, biggest smile. Tenleigh was ready to go right away and nodded her head, grabbed the pen from my hand and knew exactly what she was going to do. She got down to business right away! :) We love the name that Johnathan and Tenleigh have chosen for you:
 |
| The votes are in!! Johnny's vote is on the left, Tenleigh's is on the right. (Good thing they're the same!) :) |
And so your name will be Eli A------- James Vick. James is Daddy's middle name. I love the meanings of each part of your name too. Eli = "Lifted to God", A------ (Ethiopian-given name) = "Our Hope", and James = "servant heart" or "supplanter". {I like "servant heart" better, so we'll go with that one :)} Not sure if we'll use James or A------ first, so the order of your middle names may change.
But it feels SO GOOD to have a name for you! And we love the name! :) And I think you most definitely look like an Eli.
Sweet Eli, we are praying for you all the time! And I know that others are too! Your auntie and uncle, Grandma and Grandpa, and very special friends. We are hoping and praying that your signed contract would hurry up and get here from Ethiopia so that we can submit all of your paperwork to NBC (National Benefits Center) to be reviewed. The new PAIR process (Pre-adoptive Immigration Review) starts up Sept. 1st. (TOMORROW!) I was SOOOO hoping we'd have our paperwork submitted and ready to be reviewed right away.
Still in God's timing though. Always has been, always will be.
Love you so much, sweet Eli.
XOXO,
Mommy
Thursday, August 8, 2013
So THIS is what "Wait" REALLY means! :)
I've decided that right now, THIS season of wait, is the hardest one yet.
We have a little face we already love, a name that means so much to us, monthly updates to smile about, and even remarks from fellow adoptive parents that are visiting our agency's care center in Ethiopia. This little one is REAL.
I read an article last week (See here ------> http://wondermentetc.com/2013/08/02/dear-friends-of-waiting-adoptive-moms-some-things-to-know-also-were-sorry/) that seemed to so perfectly explain what it's like to be a waiting momma, when your child is on the other side of the world. It's like half of my heart is on the other side of the world too. Just waiting and aching to hold him, smell him, snuggle him, and cover him in kisses. (And those cheeks are looking pretty kissable too!)
Johnathan and Tenleigh "beam" when they're asked about their baby brother. They love to talk about him and every day they ask to see his pictures again.
But until the day when we finally do get to hold him, we just wait.
Right now we're waiting for the staff in Ethiopia to complete our adoption contract and gather all of Baby A's paperwork. Even though the courts in Ethiopia will be closing soon for rainy season, all paperwork can continue to be gathered and processed. I'm praying, praying, PRAYING that we will be able to get a court date soon after the courts re-open in October. That would be amazing! But I kind of tell myself to hope for before the New Year instead, so that our hearts aren't too disappointed if it's not sooner.
I'm also finding (already), that it's so much harder to be patient when dealing with the works of a third-world country now. Time in Africa is quite different than time here. "Soon" to us may mean within the next few days. "Soon" to them may mean within the next few months. Things that are of high priority to us, may not be to them. I've heard of several families recently whose paperwork was caught up from going to Embassy because THE ONE printer at the courthouse was broken.... for several weeks. Our dear friends are waiting for a tiny replacement piece for a medical machine to be passed through customs... possibly has been stuck there for several weeks too. I also have had a little bit of a chuckle this week when we received Baby A's updated photo via email.... except we're not quite sure it's Baby A!? :) I have a feeling that Baby A's name was tagged to the wrong picture. But we are still waiting, 4 days later, for Ethiopia staff to confirm.
So you see, LOTS of waiting going on here! But during the wait, we need to keep busy! So the kids and I are enjoying our last weeks together before school starts up again. Lots of time has been spent outside, I've been enjoying my work-out routine, and we're all getting geared up for Grandma and Grandpa to move closer! Such blessings for our anxious hearts!
We have a little face we already love, a name that means so much to us, monthly updates to smile about, and even remarks from fellow adoptive parents that are visiting our agency's care center in Ethiopia. This little one is REAL.
I read an article last week (See here ------> http://wondermentetc.com/2013/08/02/dear-friends-of-waiting-adoptive-moms-some-things-to-know-also-were-sorry/) that seemed to so perfectly explain what it's like to be a waiting momma, when your child is on the other side of the world. It's like half of my heart is on the other side of the world too. Just waiting and aching to hold him, smell him, snuggle him, and cover him in kisses. (And those cheeks are looking pretty kissable too!)
Johnathan and Tenleigh "beam" when they're asked about their baby brother. They love to talk about him and every day they ask to see his pictures again.
But until the day when we finally do get to hold him, we just wait.
Right now we're waiting for the staff in Ethiopia to complete our adoption contract and gather all of Baby A's paperwork. Even though the courts in Ethiopia will be closing soon for rainy season, all paperwork can continue to be gathered and processed. I'm praying, praying, PRAYING that we will be able to get a court date soon after the courts re-open in October. That would be amazing! But I kind of tell myself to hope for before the New Year instead, so that our hearts aren't too disappointed if it's not sooner.
I'm also finding (already), that it's so much harder to be patient when dealing with the works of a third-world country now. Time in Africa is quite different than time here. "Soon" to us may mean within the next few days. "Soon" to them may mean within the next few months. Things that are of high priority to us, may not be to them. I've heard of several families recently whose paperwork was caught up from going to Embassy because THE ONE printer at the courthouse was broken.... for several weeks. Our dear friends are waiting for a tiny replacement piece for a medical machine to be passed through customs... possibly has been stuck there for several weeks too. I also have had a little bit of a chuckle this week when we received Baby A's updated photo via email.... except we're not quite sure it's Baby A!? :) I have a feeling that Baby A's name was tagged to the wrong picture. But we are still waiting, 4 days later, for Ethiopia staff to confirm.
So you see, LOTS of waiting going on here! But during the wait, we need to keep busy! So the kids and I are enjoying our last weeks together before school starts up again. Lots of time has been spent outside, I've been enjoying my work-out routine, and we're all getting geared up for Grandma and Grandpa to move closer! Such blessings for our anxious hearts!
Monday, July 29, 2013
"Our Hope..."
One of my greatest joys in this waiting game has been watching Johnathan and Tenleigh prepare for Baby Opia. It has become so natural and seamless for them now -- mentioning of Baby Opia in conversation, saving selected toys/special clothes, asking questions about Baby Opia, and praying often for him/her. One way that they both consistently keep Baby Opia in their hearts is through pictures.
Absolutely precious and beautiful! Through all of this, Johnny and Tenleigh have never given up hope that some day we will be a family of 5. It just "will be" and that's that.
And so, on that one random Monday night when dinner was on the stove, the kids were at their prime for behavior (read between the lines on that one --- wink!), the dogs were barking like crazy to get outside to our neighbor dog Merlin who again has his little "I'm so ugly I'm cute" face smashed up to our front door windows -- and my poor mom is trying to step in line to this dance that is just our typical chaos at this hour every night -- OF COURSE Ryan's cell phone rings and he feels he must answer it right away because he doesn't recognize the number and "it might be someone trying to reach me about work" (He's leaving for a business trip)...
You know how God sometimes throws us a surprise -- although not a surprise at all to Him!?
Truly the phone call we've been waiting for -- for a VERY LONG TIME ---- and yet, never really knew what in the world the moment would look like (and certainly didn't imagine it to be in the midst of such chaos!) But, as we would find out -- so PERFECT too. I could hear Ryan sound excited on the phone and I wondered if it was maybe a relative of mine or something. He was too "formal-like" for it to have been a friend :) Then I heard him say, "Let me get Katie on the phone!" And when I joined in on the speaker phone and said "Hello?" I didn't quite understand what was going on. And finally I said, "Who is this?" :)
Words completely escaped me as our caseworker started to tell us about this "beautiful 5 month old boy". I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. She emailed us his file right away, and again, in His perfect timing, with my mom visiting us, she snapped some pictures of us as we saw his face for the first time:
My heart was just BURSTING and even as I type this my eyes are full of tears. Sweet, sweet boy -- with beautiful brown eyes, healthy cheeks and chubby fingers that I ache to kiss!!
Tenleigh's first reaction was, "WHAT!? It's a BOY!? I thought it was a SISTER!!" (Not sure if the confusion came from the picture, as Baby Opia was wearing a baby girl's pink & purple sleeper :), or if she really had made up her mind that she'd be getting a sister! :) Johnathan was a bit bashful about it. He had a big smile and then kind of scooted away, as if all the excitement was just "too much". :)
Ryan and I read through the information that we received on this little one and the most amazing thing popped out to us... sweet Baby Opia's Ethiopian given name --- means "Our Hope". That is so meaningful to us. And I can't help but think that perhaps "Little A" (as we'll now call him, for that's the first letter of his name) is also the hope of his birth parents. It is very obvious to me that he had been loved and cared for. His cheeks prove it! :)
And so it is, this little thing called HOPE -- my mom pointed out to me that I had blogged about HOPE a few times earlier; even in my last blog entry! -- has also become so meaningful to us in other ways. A few weeks ago we were VERY surprised to be blessed with a very helpful adoption grant from SHOW HOPE Ministries. I think all of these "Godincedences" are amazing.
Romans 12:12 is so meaningful to us and feels just perfect to our story:
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
I love that.
My friends, thank you for sharing in our HOPE and JOY! This little one ignites our hearts! But this is kind of where things really get exciting. Now that we have a face that we already love, and a beautiful name with such special meaning, I find myself having a hard time breathing, if that makes sense. There is still a lot to the process that needs to happen before he is officially our son. We definitely appreciate your prayers as we make make our way to "Our Hope".
 |
| July 2013, the Children's Chapel lesson was about What God Calls Us To Do. The children were given some time to respond to this, and Johnny responded through picture. He shared that he is carrying Baby Opia (center) into our house, and I'm at the side saying, "Awwww!" |
 |
| April 2013, Johnathan made a star with our 5 family members. BE is "Baby Ethiopia". |
 |
| July 2013, Tenleigh drew a picture of our family with lots of letters and sounds! The small yellow one named "O" is for "Opia". |
 |
| Johnathan's Kindergarten journal on the last day of school. I can tell that he rushed through this one, but it says, "I'm holden Baby Etheopya." |
 |
| Our Family of Five - by Tenleigh |
Absolutely precious and beautiful! Through all of this, Johnny and Tenleigh have never given up hope that some day we will be a family of 5. It just "will be" and that's that.
And so, on that one random Monday night when dinner was on the stove, the kids were at their prime for behavior (read between the lines on that one --- wink!), the dogs were barking like crazy to get outside to our neighbor dog Merlin who again has his little "I'm so ugly I'm cute" face smashed up to our front door windows -- and my poor mom is trying to step in line to this dance that is just our typical chaos at this hour every night -- OF COURSE Ryan's cell phone rings and he feels he must answer it right away because he doesn't recognize the number and "it might be someone trying to reach me about work" (He's leaving for a business trip)...
You know how God sometimes throws us a surprise -- although not a surprise at all to Him!?
Truly the phone call we've been waiting for -- for a VERY LONG TIME ---- and yet, never really knew what in the world the moment would look like (and certainly didn't imagine it to be in the midst of such chaos!) But, as we would find out -- so PERFECT too. I could hear Ryan sound excited on the phone and I wondered if it was maybe a relative of mine or something. He was too "formal-like" for it to have been a friend :) Then I heard him say, "Let me get Katie on the phone!" And when I joined in on the speaker phone and said "Hello?" I didn't quite understand what was going on. And finally I said, "Who is this?" :)
Words completely escaped me as our caseworker started to tell us about this "beautiful 5 month old boy". I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. She emailed us his file right away, and again, in His perfect timing, with my mom visiting us, she snapped some pictures of us as we saw his face for the first time:
 |
| The most BEAUTIFUL little brown face I've EVER seen! |
 |
| A little bit blurry -- but you get the emotions. :) |
 |
| I think Tenleigh was a little unsure about my tears. :) |
My heart was just BURSTING and even as I type this my eyes are full of tears. Sweet, sweet boy -- with beautiful brown eyes, healthy cheeks and chubby fingers that I ache to kiss!!
Tenleigh's first reaction was, "WHAT!? It's a BOY!? I thought it was a SISTER!!" (Not sure if the confusion came from the picture, as Baby Opia was wearing a baby girl's pink & purple sleeper :), or if she really had made up her mind that she'd be getting a sister! :) Johnathan was a bit bashful about it. He had a big smile and then kind of scooted away, as if all the excitement was just "too much". :)
Ryan and I read through the information that we received on this little one and the most amazing thing popped out to us... sweet Baby Opia's Ethiopian given name --- means "Our Hope". That is so meaningful to us. And I can't help but think that perhaps "Little A" (as we'll now call him, for that's the first letter of his name) is also the hope of his birth parents. It is very obvious to me that he had been loved and cared for. His cheeks prove it! :)
And so it is, this little thing called HOPE -- my mom pointed out to me that I had blogged about HOPE a few times earlier; even in my last blog entry! -- has also become so meaningful to us in other ways. A few weeks ago we were VERY surprised to be blessed with a very helpful adoption grant from SHOW HOPE Ministries. I think all of these "Godincedences" are amazing.
Romans 12:12 is so meaningful to us and feels just perfect to our story:
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
I love that.
My friends, thank you for sharing in our HOPE and JOY! This little one ignites our hearts! But this is kind of where things really get exciting. Now that we have a face that we already love, and a beautiful name with such special meaning, I find myself having a hard time breathing, if that makes sense. There is still a lot to the process that needs to happen before he is officially our son. We definitely appreciate your prayers as we make make our way to "Our Hope".
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Homecoming
I've been wanting to blog about some thoughts for quite awhile -- but I really have no idea where to go with these thoughts. And so instead of re-thinking and starting over again and again, I'm just going to go with it.
Some time ago, I received two beautiful cards from two ladies that are very precious to me. One is family, one I love like family. Both are mothers on very challenging journeys. And interestingly enough, neither mother knows the other, but I am their common thread, and I see such parallels in their walks. Their walks are of love and loss and faith and heartache and desperation... and so many things I really have no business trying to understand or write about; but my heart feels for them in new ways since receiving these cards.
For me, this yearning of "coming home" has been for our Little Opia -- this child we do not yet know, have not yet met, but so desperately long for. This wanting to have our child here physically, to care for and love. To add on to our family and give Johnathan and Tenleigh a sibling... It's a strange sort of investment to make; on something/someone we do not yet know. But I remember that instantaneous love for Johnathan and Tenleigh. So different than falling in love and growing to know someone. With my children, I loved them the moment I knew about them.
But for my sweet ladies, C & C (& R) -- they long for a different kind of Homecoming. For their children are already theirs -- they know them, they have raised them, they love them unconditionally -- but they are waiting for them to come home in a different sort of way.
I am so thankful for the perspectives of these other moms in waiting. C, C, and R -- you have been on my heart and mind every day. Now as I anticipate our family's growth, I cannot help but think of your hearts and longings too. I am very blessed to witness and be mentored by your strength, courage and faith. I love you each so much.
As for our Homecoming, I almost hate to put it in writing, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it won't happen sooner than we had anticipated?!! (We're not complaining though!) Seems as though we're in a season of moving referrals, and we've been moving up the waiting list at a good rate! As of 6/21/13 our wait list numbers are: IG 25, IB 12, TG 18, TB 10. These numbers are our official numbers. We also have unofficial numbers, because there are a number of families on hold in each category. Families may choose to go on hold if they're pregnant or need to gather more funds for example. When a family goes on hold, they're not able to accept a referral. So for us, this means that we "hop over" these families on the wait list. So... our unofficial numbers are: 14, 4, 9, and 4!!!!! I'm trying SO HARD not to be too hopeful, because as we know -- things in the international adoption world are very unpredictable.
But, as I'm also learning from C, C, & R -- we can not lose hope.
XOXO
Some time ago, I received two beautiful cards from two ladies that are very precious to me. One is family, one I love like family. Both are mothers on very challenging journeys. And interestingly enough, neither mother knows the other, but I am their common thread, and I see such parallels in their walks. Their walks are of love and loss and faith and heartache and desperation... and so many things I really have no business trying to understand or write about; but my heart feels for them in new ways since receiving these cards.
For me, this yearning of "coming home" has been for our Little Opia -- this child we do not yet know, have not yet met, but so desperately long for. This wanting to have our child here physically, to care for and love. To add on to our family and give Johnathan and Tenleigh a sibling... It's a strange sort of investment to make; on something/someone we do not yet know. But I remember that instantaneous love for Johnathan and Tenleigh. So different than falling in love and growing to know someone. With my children, I loved them the moment I knew about them.
But for my sweet ladies, C & C (& R) -- they long for a different kind of Homecoming. For their children are already theirs -- they know them, they have raised them, they love them unconditionally -- but they are waiting for them to come home in a different sort of way.
I am so thankful for the perspectives of these other moms in waiting. C, C, and R -- you have been on my heart and mind every day. Now as I anticipate our family's growth, I cannot help but think of your hearts and longings too. I am very blessed to witness and be mentored by your strength, courage and faith. I love you each so much.
As for our Homecoming, I almost hate to put it in writing, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it won't happen sooner than we had anticipated?!! (We're not complaining though!) Seems as though we're in a season of moving referrals, and we've been moving up the waiting list at a good rate! As of 6/21/13 our wait list numbers are: IG 25, IB 12, TG 18, TB 10. These numbers are our official numbers. We also have unofficial numbers, because there are a number of families on hold in each category. Families may choose to go on hold if they're pregnant or need to gather more funds for example. When a family goes on hold, they're not able to accept a referral. So for us, this means that we "hop over" these families on the wait list. So... our unofficial numbers are: 14, 4, 9, and 4!!!!! I'm trying SO HARD not to be too hopeful, because as we know -- things in the international adoption world are very unpredictable.
But, as I'm also learning from C, C, & R -- we can not lose hope.
XOXO
Monday, June 3, 2013
We Have Movement! :)
Just a quick little update on where things are at in our process! We have moved on the wait list again (see side bar), which is always a good feeling! Even though we have a ways to go, it does feel so good to know that things are moving along. Maybe, just MAYBE we'll have our referral before a year's time!? That is my hope & prayer!
So strange to think that last month, May, was the month we were originally thinking we would receive our referral, prior to everything happening with our former agency's bankruptcy. Also so strange to think that we embarked on this journey a year and a half ago! And all the unexpected changes along the way: thinking we'd adopt domestically, then leaving the meeting ready to adopt from Haiti -- and 6 months later having to switch countries and choosing Ethiopia! Now our 2nd leg into Ethiopia! A friend and I were just discussing how really, truly scary international adoption can be at times. And anyone going into any type of adoption needs to understand that there are risks involved. Adoption really leaves one feeling very vulnerable to the elements unknown.
But we rejoice in any little progress that we have! We also rejoice in special celebrations on the home front! Tenleigh has completed her first year of preschool and just loved it. My heart feels so proud when we hear her teachers share that "she is a friend to all the kids in her class." Tenleigh just loves life and sprinkles joy with everyone. I am so blessed to be her momma.
Johnathan has completed Kindergarten! I can't even believe it! My quieter observer, that loves to learn and ask questions. I am proud of his academic skills, but especially the kind-hearted boy that he is too. I love his gentle spirit.
We're looking forward to the summer together! I am SO blessed that my summers get to be spent with my children. I do not take them for granted! We have lots of fun things planned: T-Ball (for both kids), Johnny will continue with Karate and both kids will enjoy some free art activities that our city plans a few times a month. And of course let's not forget "Grandpa's Lake" (as the kids call it!), which will ensue lots of fishing, play in the water, watering flowers, and playing ball. Our family is also going on our second ever family vacation! We have planned a special camping trip in an RV for a week this summer! :) Fun memories!
So glad to have lots of fun packed into these months as we watch our wait list numbers tick down!
So strange to think that last month, May, was the month we were originally thinking we would receive our referral, prior to everything happening with our former agency's bankruptcy. Also so strange to think that we embarked on this journey a year and a half ago! And all the unexpected changes along the way: thinking we'd adopt domestically, then leaving the meeting ready to adopt from Haiti -- and 6 months later having to switch countries and choosing Ethiopia! Now our 2nd leg into Ethiopia! A friend and I were just discussing how really, truly scary international adoption can be at times. And anyone going into any type of adoption needs to understand that there are risks involved. Adoption really leaves one feeling very vulnerable to the elements unknown.
But we rejoice in any little progress that we have! We also rejoice in special celebrations on the home front! Tenleigh has completed her first year of preschool and just loved it. My heart feels so proud when we hear her teachers share that "she is a friend to all the kids in her class." Tenleigh just loves life and sprinkles joy with everyone. I am so blessed to be her momma.
Johnathan has completed Kindergarten! I can't even believe it! My quieter observer, that loves to learn and ask questions. I am proud of his academic skills, but especially the kind-hearted boy that he is too. I love his gentle spirit.
We're looking forward to the summer together! I am SO blessed that my summers get to be spent with my children. I do not take them for granted! We have lots of fun things planned: T-Ball (for both kids), Johnny will continue with Karate and both kids will enjoy some free art activities that our city plans a few times a month. And of course let's not forget "Grandpa's Lake" (as the kids call it!), which will ensue lots of fishing, play in the water, watering flowers, and playing ball. Our family is also going on our second ever family vacation! We have planned a special camping trip in an RV for a week this summer! :) Fun memories!
So glad to have lots of fun packed into these months as we watch our wait list numbers tick down!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Let's Re-Think This!
About 2 years ago, I remember very distinctly praying a constant prayer ... it was, "Unsettle me, Lord." I don't know what I was thinking, exactly. Maybe something along the lines of... "stir something inside me...." or "move your Spirit through me..." You know, something that didn't actually require any work or too much emotion on my end. Just kind of -- "here I am, Lord -- but don't do anything too big..."
But apparently God listens to our prayers. He's been known to do that sort of thing I guess. And not only listen to our prayers, He actually moves things in heaven at the prompt of our prayers. Pretty awesome -- I'm just not loving the emotions tied to this rubble that He's shaking up in me... albeit at my request.
So let's talk rubble ---
I recently attended an amazing Christian women's conference with a great friend. One of the speakers happened to be one of my favorite Bible study authors, Kelly Minter. Kelly spoke about the book of Nehemiah, and the re-building of the wall -- and with that re-building, there is always rubble. Kelly so wisely pointed out the obvious: the only difference between building and re-building is rubble. In hearing Kelly share her wisdom, I was brought back to my prayer two years ago, "Unsettle me." I may as well have said, "Lord, there's a lot of rubble going on here -- shake it up. Move it. Re-build something in me..."
I can very strongly identify 3 major Shake Ups going on within me right now. One is obviously the orphan crisis and orphan justice. While God spoke adoption on our hearts 4 years ago (whew! I can't believe it's been 4 years!), it's only been the last year and a half that I've really felt a shake up towards the orphan crisis. I'm even a little bit embarrassed to say that I never fully understood the depth of the orphan crisis until we started our adoption a year and a half ago. And speaking of this understanding -- the documentary STUCK (!) Ryan and I were so blessed to see this film last week in Minneapolis. Truly a film that every. person. must. see. It's not a plea for people to adopt internationally. I fully understand that adoption is not for everyone; nor should it be. But I do believe that every person needs to understand what it going on around the globe with our orphans. We will be buying the DVD, and have been praying about ways to raise awareness. I also read a book called Orphan Justice -- which I personally believe every Christian needs to read.
So speaking of Christians. I am a Christian, trying to be like Jesus and love the poor and fatherless. I wear t-shrits that promote this. Heck, we're even selling the t-shirts. I have sold beautiful Haitian jewelry for the Haitian men and women so that they do not have to release their children to orphanages. I teach Kindergarten at a Christian early childhood learning center, and in most cases, the Kindergarten classroom is the only "taste" of Christ that the children and families may have. Ryan and I strive to be spiritual parents that walk alongside the Holy Spirit in raising Johnathan and Tenleigh to know the love of Christ. We're very active in our church and try to be very active in our community too, as disciples of Jesus. Disciples.... a very important word here. Now please don't misunderstand. I don't share these examples because I think we're wonderful. I share them because last night in my prayer time I clearly heard the Lord pointing these things out to me, and then say, .... "But you stink at being 'Jesus in the flesh' to a select few people right under your nose, that do not yet know Me, that you push away..." Sigh. Yes. I do. And I have been for many years. Rubble. Lots of rubble here. This wall -- will take time to re-build. But as much as I want to say, "Ahhh... this prayer... anywhere but here, Lord..." I must continue, "Unsettle me, Lord."
Then there's this third Shake Up. It's more of a personal Shake Up. And one I'm not sure I will disclose at this time. But people closest to me know and understand. This Shake Up is a re-building of my spirit. My inward rubble, affecting my outer self.
Right now I'm reading a new (to me) book by Kelly Minter. It's called The Fitting Room. I picked it up because the back says, "An irresistible invitation to a spiritual makeover." It's like it was written for me. Kelly is saying, "Girlfriend, you need a new wardrobe. Peace, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, humility, patience...."
Yes, let's re-think this unsettled rubble. I am not building for others (orphans, my children, my Kindergarten families, Haiti...). I am in the middle of a spiritual re-build for me.
But apparently God listens to our prayers. He's been known to do that sort of thing I guess. And not only listen to our prayers, He actually moves things in heaven at the prompt of our prayers. Pretty awesome -- I'm just not loving the emotions tied to this rubble that He's shaking up in me... albeit at my request.
So let's talk rubble ---
I recently attended an amazing Christian women's conference with a great friend. One of the speakers happened to be one of my favorite Bible study authors, Kelly Minter. Kelly spoke about the book of Nehemiah, and the re-building of the wall -- and with that re-building, there is always rubble. Kelly so wisely pointed out the obvious: the only difference between building and re-building is rubble. In hearing Kelly share her wisdom, I was brought back to my prayer two years ago, "Unsettle me." I may as well have said, "Lord, there's a lot of rubble going on here -- shake it up. Move it. Re-build something in me..."
I can very strongly identify 3 major Shake Ups going on within me right now. One is obviously the orphan crisis and orphan justice. While God spoke adoption on our hearts 4 years ago (whew! I can't believe it's been 4 years!), it's only been the last year and a half that I've really felt a shake up towards the orphan crisis. I'm even a little bit embarrassed to say that I never fully understood the depth of the orphan crisis until we started our adoption a year and a half ago. And speaking of this understanding -- the documentary STUCK (!) Ryan and I were so blessed to see this film last week in Minneapolis. Truly a film that every. person. must. see. It's not a plea for people to adopt internationally. I fully understand that adoption is not for everyone; nor should it be. But I do believe that every person needs to understand what it going on around the globe with our orphans. We will be buying the DVD, and have been praying about ways to raise awareness. I also read a book called Orphan Justice -- which I personally believe every Christian needs to read.
So speaking of Christians. I am a Christian, trying to be like Jesus and love the poor and fatherless. I wear t-shrits that promote this. Heck, we're even selling the t-shirts. I have sold beautiful Haitian jewelry for the Haitian men and women so that they do not have to release their children to orphanages. I teach Kindergarten at a Christian early childhood learning center, and in most cases, the Kindergarten classroom is the only "taste" of Christ that the children and families may have. Ryan and I strive to be spiritual parents that walk alongside the Holy Spirit in raising Johnathan and Tenleigh to know the love of Christ. We're very active in our church and try to be very active in our community too, as disciples of Jesus. Disciples.... a very important word here. Now please don't misunderstand. I don't share these examples because I think we're wonderful. I share them because last night in my prayer time I clearly heard the Lord pointing these things out to me, and then say, .... "But you stink at being 'Jesus in the flesh' to a select few people right under your nose, that do not yet know Me, that you push away..." Sigh. Yes. I do. And I have been for many years. Rubble. Lots of rubble here. This wall -- will take time to re-build. But as much as I want to say, "Ahhh... this prayer... anywhere but here, Lord..." I must continue, "Unsettle me, Lord."
Then there's this third Shake Up. It's more of a personal Shake Up. And one I'm not sure I will disclose at this time. But people closest to me know and understand. This Shake Up is a re-building of my spirit. My inward rubble, affecting my outer self.
Right now I'm reading a new (to me) book by Kelly Minter. It's called The Fitting Room. I picked it up because the back says, "An irresistible invitation to a spiritual makeover." It's like it was written for me. Kelly is saying, "Girlfriend, you need a new wardrobe. Peace, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, humility, patience...."
Yes, let's re-think this unsettled rubble. I am not building for others (orphans, my children, my Kindergarten families, Haiti...). I am in the middle of a spiritual re-build for me.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
"Mommy, Tell Me a Story"
Usually Grandma is the one that the kids beg to hear stories from. Grandma's stories are magical. She paints pictures with her words, and the kids eat it up! Night-time story-telling with Grandma has become a special tradition and memories-in-the-making for Johnathan and Tenleigh. Johnathan is usually a paleontologist digging up dinosaur bones in our backyard, or raising his own pet dinosaur. Tenleigh's stories usually involve unicorns, sparkles, rainbows, and princess tales. (I have a hunch Tenleigh is quite the co-narrator with Grandma, and tells her what to include in her tales!) ;)
But last night I had the privilege of being asked to make up and tell a story.
"Mommy, tell me a story", Tenleigh said as we snuggled.
"Oohh I like that. Good idea."
"Tell me a story about Baby Opia."
Oh my heart.
I often wonder what it is that triggers my sweet 6 year old and 4 year old to start asking about, and thinking about, Baby Opia. Ryan and I really don't spend a lot of time talking about Baby Opia or the adoption. The process and timeframe is just so difficult for the kids to understand. But we do pray about him or her every night at bedtime, and it seems as though different things spark their little hearts. Tenleigh will find a toy and decide that she's going to give it to Baby Opia. Or today when I was reading a folktale from Africa to my Kinders, Johnathan chimed in about our adoption. Again. It's sometimes hard to tell what exactly they understand about this whole deal. But what I DO know, is that their hearts are very sincere and sweet, and they are R--E-A-D-Y for another sibling! :)
And speaking of READY -- I am more than ready for summer!! Ready to be with my sweet loves at home, walking or riding bikes to the park, playing with bubbles and sand toys, going to "Grandpa's Lake", and watching their T-Ball games. I wonder if this will be our last summer as a family of 4!? We kinda think so, and so have been planning some sort of simple, yet special family get-away during the summer some time. Maybe camping?? That's totally Ryan's cup of tea, but not so much mine. :) I'm willing to try most anything, but not so sure I'll be good at the whole adventure of roughing it! ;) I must say that I do love my toilets, beds above ground, and clean water.
Probably will be many stories that I'll be able to share with the kids -- or rather, they'll be sharing about me (!) once our camping get-away has come and gone. :)
But last night I had the privilege of being asked to make up and tell a story.
"Mommy, tell me a story", Tenleigh said as we snuggled.
"Oohh I like that. Good idea."
"Tell me a story about Baby Opia."
Oh my heart.
I often wonder what it is that triggers my sweet 6 year old and 4 year old to start asking about, and thinking about, Baby Opia. Ryan and I really don't spend a lot of time talking about Baby Opia or the adoption. The process and timeframe is just so difficult for the kids to understand. But we do pray about him or her every night at bedtime, and it seems as though different things spark their little hearts. Tenleigh will find a toy and decide that she's going to give it to Baby Opia. Or today when I was reading a folktale from Africa to my Kinders, Johnathan chimed in about our adoption. Again. It's sometimes hard to tell what exactly they understand about this whole deal. But what I DO know, is that their hearts are very sincere and sweet, and they are R--E-A-D-Y for another sibling! :)
And speaking of READY -- I am more than ready for summer!! Ready to be with my sweet loves at home, walking or riding bikes to the park, playing with bubbles and sand toys, going to "Grandpa's Lake", and watching their T-Ball games. I wonder if this will be our last summer as a family of 4!? We kinda think so, and so have been planning some sort of simple, yet special family get-away during the summer some time. Maybe camping?? That's totally Ryan's cup of tea, but not so much mine. :) I'm willing to try most anything, but not so sure I'll be good at the whole adventure of roughing it! ;) I must say that I do love my toilets, beds above ground, and clean water.
Probably will be many stories that I'll be able to share with the kids -- or rather, they'll be sharing about me (!) once our camping get-away has come and gone. :)
Monday, April 1, 2013
Nitty-Gritty Update
I realized after visiting with some family this weekend, that I haven't really shared the nitty-gritty of where we're at with our adoption! So here it is:
We signed with a new adoption agency about two weeks ago. This was a huge relief for us! It took truly several weeks of researching agencies. This involved emails, phone calls, and more and more of that! And just when we'd think we were getting close to narrowing down our options, a wrench would come into the works, leaving us with more research. But, we do feel very good about our new agency! The Operational Manager told me on the phone, "Remember Katie, there is no 'try' this time. Unless Ethiopia closes the door, you will bring a child home!" That felt so good to hear -- mostly because he was recognizing that this road has not been easy for us as this is our third time around. We got the sense that our new agency will really take good care of us! We only needed to revise 4 items from our original dossier, and these are all done and ready to go! Now we are only waiting for a letter from our insurance company stating that our adoptive child will be covered under our insurance. Let's hope that comes quickly! As soon as that arrives, we will be able to send everything off to Washington, DC again for certification (again) and then it's off to Ethiopia! (again) :)
But the GREAT news is that we are officially on the wait lists again in Ethiopia!! Our new agency has allowed us to be on the wait list at the time of contracting with them, rather than waiting until our dossier went to Ethiopia again. We are on 4 lists at this time: infant girl #40, infant boy #26, toddler girl #28, and toddler boy #20. These numbers include the families that are currently on-hold (meaning they can not accept referrals at this time), so we're actually a bit ahead of these numbers. Our wait time for referral will probably be 9-12 months. I'm praying for sooner, of course -- but I also know that realistically we could not accept a referral too soon because we will need the time to secure the needed funds. Our GoFund Me button says 100% raised, but this covers the first fees to our agency only. Still trying to prepare for in-country fees and travel expenses. But of course we're VERY VERY thankful for these first fees being covered by the help of so many!!
We've also been working hard to apply for a few grants. The last two times we were able to work things out on our own financially, but we decided that this time we would be seeking assistance. This has been my very least favorite part of this process so far! Most grants require mini essays from both parents, as well as various items such as tax information, pay check stubs, and credit scores. Ugh. It's like pulling horses' teeth trying to get these things done! Definitely not easy to do with both of us working very full jobs and trying to keep the balance at home too, for Johnathan and Tenleigh.
So that's the nitty-gritty -- with faith and hope, still truckin' along! :)
We signed with a new adoption agency about two weeks ago. This was a huge relief for us! It took truly several weeks of researching agencies. This involved emails, phone calls, and more and more of that! And just when we'd think we were getting close to narrowing down our options, a wrench would come into the works, leaving us with more research. But, we do feel very good about our new agency! The Operational Manager told me on the phone, "Remember Katie, there is no 'try' this time. Unless Ethiopia closes the door, you will bring a child home!" That felt so good to hear -- mostly because he was recognizing that this road has not been easy for us as this is our third time around. We got the sense that our new agency will really take good care of us! We only needed to revise 4 items from our original dossier, and these are all done and ready to go! Now we are only waiting for a letter from our insurance company stating that our adoptive child will be covered under our insurance. Let's hope that comes quickly! As soon as that arrives, we will be able to send everything off to Washington, DC again for certification (again) and then it's off to Ethiopia! (again) :)
But the GREAT news is that we are officially on the wait lists again in Ethiopia!! Our new agency has allowed us to be on the wait list at the time of contracting with them, rather than waiting until our dossier went to Ethiopia again. We are on 4 lists at this time: infant girl #40, infant boy #26, toddler girl #28, and toddler boy #20. These numbers include the families that are currently on-hold (meaning they can not accept referrals at this time), so we're actually a bit ahead of these numbers. Our wait time for referral will probably be 9-12 months. I'm praying for sooner, of course -- but I also know that realistically we could not accept a referral too soon because we will need the time to secure the needed funds. Our GoFund Me button says 100% raised, but this covers the first fees to our agency only. Still trying to prepare for in-country fees and travel expenses. But of course we're VERY VERY thankful for these first fees being covered by the help of so many!!
We've also been working hard to apply for a few grants. The last two times we were able to work things out on our own financially, but we decided that this time we would be seeking assistance. This has been my very least favorite part of this process so far! Most grants require mini essays from both parents, as well as various items such as tax information, pay check stubs, and credit scores. Ugh. It's like pulling horses' teeth trying to get these things done! Definitely not easy to do with both of us working very full jobs and trying to keep the balance at home too, for Johnathan and Tenleigh.
So that's the nitty-gritty -- with faith and hope, still truckin' along! :)
Monday, March 25, 2013
What Does Love Look Like?
You know, there's something quite awesome and amazing about experiencing selfless love. Love that sacrifices, love that is gentle and compassionate, love that doesn't need to understand the hows or the whys. Love that changes hearts and people.
When we were driving home two nights ago Ryan said, "This event really has changed me."
I think it was about three weeks ago that we started to initially feel some changes. Our adoption story and the story of our dear friends was shared on a local television news station. The result of that brought many changes. Some good, some not-so-good, and even some sad. Some of the comments and mentalities of others is nothing short of shocking and rude. I don't feel sad for us. I know who we are. I feel sad for the people with such ignorance, really. But, many MORE people showered us with love. One completely anonymous donor gifted our family $1000. That's really hard to swallow. I can't even type that without getting tearful. No identity tagged to the number. Love is humble.
My two amazing friends and colleagues made a YouTube video about us and sent it to Ellen DeGeneres. :) They have staked claim in this ordeal and are such little warriors for justice, you might say. Love is courageous, and bold, and sometimes tenacious.
And then our story was shared in our local newspaper! My mom and I were crying of laughter as I read bits to her, because in all honesty, I was really embarrassed by the article. Aside from several inaccuracies about certain details about us and our friends, there were some statements attached to my name that were not at all what I said. Beyond my embarrassment, I was worried! I was worried that people would actually think that my heart was what was depicted in the story. Mom's love grounds me. Being able to laugh at the ridiculousness of the statements and being reminded from one of my dearest, Esther, that people who really know me won't blink an eye... this is genuine love.
One of my sweet little Kinders caught wind of these t-shirt sales that our family is doing. He asked his mom to order one for him too! But somehow I think his sweet little 6 year old mind got stuck on "shirts" and so one day last week when he and his momma were shopping at Target, he insisted that he need to buy me a shirt! So the very next day at school, in walks Little Man with a brown paper bag, and the most beautiful purple-blue Merona brand t-shirt I've ever seen. In fact, I'm wearing it right now!! :) Love is child-like too. Pure and innocent, and assumes nothing.
Our GoFund Me button shows that we have met our $4,000 goal for fundraising! A handful of dear high school friends really took it upon themselves to spread the message about this little button -- and wowza! Our goal has been met (and even surpassed!!)! These funds will help us with our first agency fee! Many classmates I haven't seen in literally 15 years or more -- decided to open up their hearts and give one more little cheer to the quiet, sometimes nerdy Homecoming Queen and her family. :) Sometimes love is spontaneous.
And most recently, this very special event that changed Ryan. Two nights ago we (and our friends) were the 'guests of honor' at a spaghetti dinner benefit, to help us try to recover some of our losses from the agency bankruptcy. Words just cannot tell you what it feels like to see over 300 faces, tiny baby faces through great-grandparent faces, come into one place to do nothing more than bless others. Great food, great activities, and the fellowship was amazing. Sometimes loves means simply "showing up".
Easter Sunday is right around the corner. The most picture-perfect example of True Love -- God gave His only Son -- for us. We are so undeserving of this kind of Love. But it is given to us every single day. Thank you, Jesus. THIS is the kind of love that changed the world.
When we were driving home two nights ago Ryan said, "This event really has changed me."
I think it was about three weeks ago that we started to initially feel some changes. Our adoption story and the story of our dear friends was shared on a local television news station. The result of that brought many changes. Some good, some not-so-good, and even some sad. Some of the comments and mentalities of others is nothing short of shocking and rude. I don't feel sad for us. I know who we are. I feel sad for the people with such ignorance, really. But, many MORE people showered us with love. One completely anonymous donor gifted our family $1000. That's really hard to swallow. I can't even type that without getting tearful. No identity tagged to the number. Love is humble.
My two amazing friends and colleagues made a YouTube video about us and sent it to Ellen DeGeneres. :) They have staked claim in this ordeal and are such little warriors for justice, you might say. Love is courageous, and bold, and sometimes tenacious.
And then our story was shared in our local newspaper! My mom and I were crying of laughter as I read bits to her, because in all honesty, I was really embarrassed by the article. Aside from several inaccuracies about certain details about us and our friends, there were some statements attached to my name that were not at all what I said. Beyond my embarrassment, I was worried! I was worried that people would actually think that my heart was what was depicted in the story. Mom's love grounds me. Being able to laugh at the ridiculousness of the statements and being reminded from one of my dearest, Esther, that people who really know me won't blink an eye... this is genuine love.
One of my sweet little Kinders caught wind of these t-shirt sales that our family is doing. He asked his mom to order one for him too! But somehow I think his sweet little 6 year old mind got stuck on "shirts" and so one day last week when he and his momma were shopping at Target, he insisted that he need to buy me a shirt! So the very next day at school, in walks Little Man with a brown paper bag, and the most beautiful purple-blue Merona brand t-shirt I've ever seen. In fact, I'm wearing it right now!! :) Love is child-like too. Pure and innocent, and assumes nothing.
Our GoFund Me button shows that we have met our $4,000 goal for fundraising! A handful of dear high school friends really took it upon themselves to spread the message about this little button -- and wowza! Our goal has been met (and even surpassed!!)! These funds will help us with our first agency fee! Many classmates I haven't seen in literally 15 years or more -- decided to open up their hearts and give one more little cheer to the quiet, sometimes nerdy Homecoming Queen and her family. :) Sometimes love is spontaneous.
And most recently, this very special event that changed Ryan. Two nights ago we (and our friends) were the 'guests of honor' at a spaghetti dinner benefit, to help us try to recover some of our losses from the agency bankruptcy. Words just cannot tell you what it feels like to see over 300 faces, tiny baby faces through great-grandparent faces, come into one place to do nothing more than bless others. Great food, great activities, and the fellowship was amazing. Sometimes loves means simply "showing up".
Easter Sunday is right around the corner. The most picture-perfect example of True Love -- God gave His only Son -- for us. We are so undeserving of this kind of Love. But it is given to us every single day. Thank you, Jesus. THIS is the kind of love that changed the world.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
The Light Will Be On, The Welcome Mat Out...
Haiti Journey -- door closed. Ethiopia Journey #1 -- door closed. Search for new agency -- A few doors closed. Mom's friend told her, "The doors are closing because they're the wrong doors."
I love that... "They're the wrong doors."
She didn't say, "The doors are made of steel with padlocks, never to be opened." She simply said, "They're the wrong doors."
Mom encouraged me -- "God will turn the light on and put the Welcome mat out." Peace. Yes, He will.
We are completely overwhelmed with the love and support that is coming our way. Kind words, cards, emails, prayers, donations -- many from complete strangers or friends we haven't seen for several years. Just amazing.
Tonight after bedtime prayers Johnathan asked, "When is Baby Opia coming, Mom?" And sweet Tenleigh's response was, "He's gonna come in my tummy now." Noooooo, little monkey, that's not quite the way it works. :) I can tell that Johnathan is starting to wonder about this "paper pregnancy". He told some of his kindergarten friends yesterday that "My mommy is going to Africa in a couple of sleeps." Sigh. Sweet boy, so tuned-in to changes.
Tenleigh Anna keeps our minds whirling, and our hearts thumping. I often think, "Where in the WORLD does she get this stuff!?"... apparently she gets some of it from me, as it seems that her little ears are tuning in to everything. :) She has been really into playing "wedding" lately. She'll suddenly announce to Johnny that he's her husband, and it's time for the wedding! (The first time they played, he was the cowboy, and she was the princess!) The other night, Tens was all decked out in her princess gown, with heels and (upside-down) crown. Johnathan put on his black pants, vest, dress shirt and tie. He even slicked down his hair. Tenleigh wrapped her arm around him, kissed his cheek and said, "Good-bye, Husband. Have a good day. Be a goooooood listener, and... don't lose my purse." I busted a gut because I knew EXACTLY where she got, "... don't lose my purse!"
Monday morning, satan was really trying to have his way with me I think. The night before, our family's adoption story was shared on a local news station, and God's call to "defend and love the fatherless" was being shared. So I'm sure satan was trying to wedge his way into this work. But anyway -- the following morning was nothing short of completely nuts. Johnny and I were putting our coats and shoes on, and Tens was still thrashing her little body on the mudroom floor, having a full-blown tantrum in her pajamas. I shoved her clothes into her backpack and told her that she'd have to get dressed at preschool today. Fast-forward 2 seconds, and I've wrestled this little tornado into her carseat, only to soon discover that I have NO car keys. Ryan (again -- yes, again -- for the 3rd time) has taken my set with him to downtown Minneapolis. Of course he's not answering his phone, and you know I'm running about 15 minutes late already. I leave a sweet, little message (read with sarcasm) that said something along the lines of.... "I can't have you losing my keys!" Be careful, be careful -- what you say!! ;)
So you see, life is getting back to 'normal' for us. ;) Fun play, tender prayers, and even a little bit of CraZy. :)
Prayers go up -- blessings come down.
I love that... "They're the wrong doors."
She didn't say, "The doors are made of steel with padlocks, never to be opened." She simply said, "They're the wrong doors."
Mom encouraged me -- "God will turn the light on and put the Welcome mat out." Peace. Yes, He will.
We are completely overwhelmed with the love and support that is coming our way. Kind words, cards, emails, prayers, donations -- many from complete strangers or friends we haven't seen for several years. Just amazing.
Tonight after bedtime prayers Johnathan asked, "When is Baby Opia coming, Mom?" And sweet Tenleigh's response was, "He's gonna come in my tummy now." Noooooo, little monkey, that's not quite the way it works. :) I can tell that Johnathan is starting to wonder about this "paper pregnancy". He told some of his kindergarten friends yesterday that "My mommy is going to Africa in a couple of sleeps." Sigh. Sweet boy, so tuned-in to changes.
Tenleigh Anna keeps our minds whirling, and our hearts thumping. I often think, "Where in the WORLD does she get this stuff!?"... apparently she gets some of it from me, as it seems that her little ears are tuning in to everything. :) She has been really into playing "wedding" lately. She'll suddenly announce to Johnny that he's her husband, and it's time for the wedding! (The first time they played, he was the cowboy, and she was the princess!) The other night, Tens was all decked out in her princess gown, with heels and (upside-down) crown. Johnathan put on his black pants, vest, dress shirt and tie. He even slicked down his hair. Tenleigh wrapped her arm around him, kissed his cheek and said, "Good-bye, Husband. Have a good day. Be a goooooood listener, and... don't lose my purse." I busted a gut because I knew EXACTLY where she got, "... don't lose my purse!"
Monday morning, satan was really trying to have his way with me I think. The night before, our family's adoption story was shared on a local news station, and God's call to "defend and love the fatherless" was being shared. So I'm sure satan was trying to wedge his way into this work. But anyway -- the following morning was nothing short of completely nuts. Johnny and I were putting our coats and shoes on, and Tens was still thrashing her little body on the mudroom floor, having a full-blown tantrum in her pajamas. I shoved her clothes into her backpack and told her that she'd have to get dressed at preschool today. Fast-forward 2 seconds, and I've wrestled this little tornado into her carseat, only to soon discover that I have NO car keys. Ryan (again -- yes, again -- for the 3rd time) has taken my set with him to downtown Minneapolis. Of course he's not answering his phone, and you know I'm running about 15 minutes late already. I leave a sweet, little message (read with sarcasm) that said something along the lines of.... "I can't have you losing my keys!" Be careful, be careful -- what you say!! ;)
So you see, life is getting back to 'normal' for us. ;) Fun play, tender prayers, and even a little bit of CraZy. :)
Prayers go up -- blessings come down.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
~ Simply Love!! ~
I am SO excited about these cute Simply Love t-shirts that we're selling as a fundraiser for our adoption. The first two rounds of our adoption we decided not to do any fundraising. This time we know that we have to. But I think these look great and I hope they'll be a hit! All sizes are available. The smallest size is youth XS. The women's t-shirt comes in unisex or junior cut. If you're interested in purchasing a t-shirt, please send me an email at: heartstrings2911@yahoo.com and I'll hook you up! Thank you so much!!
 |
| Women's Front |
 |
| Women's Back |
 |
| Men's Front |
 |
| Men's Back |
Monday, March 4, 2013
When I'm On My Knees...
"There I am before the Love that changes me.
I don't know how, but there's power when I'm on my knees..."
I've heard these lyrics probably a thousand times, and I've always loved Jaci Valesquez's song. But I can't say that the words had ever really spoken to me as much as they do now. These last few weeks have brought me to my knees on so many levels.
I think that most people might think that our financial loss is the main thing that has brought me to my knees. And yes, that's a great part of it. But it's really become about so much more than loss. The blessings far outweigh the loss.
I've been brought to my knees in Thanksgiving -- for the amazing, courageous, and thoughtful friends that have decidedly turned themselves into little "warriors" for our family. Trying to spread the word to others about ways to support us. I am completely humbled at the time and dedication that they have put into these efforts.
I've been brought to my knees as I learn the horror and realities facing orphans in today's world. I am devouring a new book I just found called Orphan Justice. Mmm... it's a good one. A "must read" for every Christian I believe.
I've been brought to my knees as God is teaching me about patience. As we work through the next steps of our adoption process, we are waiting to hear back on some dossier details with the agency that we're hoping to contract with. And of course... still trying to get our dossier back into our hands. That feels a bit like a nail-biter to me. I can handle dealing with agencies here in the US, but I don't totally love that our 6 month life project is in Addis Ababa right now, and our former agency is virtually non-existent.
I am on my knees in prayer constantly. For direction and clarity, for courage and patience. For continued faith and hope. I love the way the words in Scripture are jumping out at me as if I have never read them before.
And let's not forget when I'm on my knees playing "Tickle Monster", "Beauty Shop", or "Uno". These beautiful babes of mine upstairs in their beds. So healthy, rowdy, and pure. Their belly laughs and precious imaginations bring us such joy, every day.
When I am on my knees I see the blessings, and the Love that changes me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Dear Anonymous...
.... I'm not sure if our family knows you, or if you even know our family. My guess is yes, but I can't be sure. I saw your name come up on our donation button the other day, and I cried.
I cried because I am so very thankful for your gift, and I wish you could know just how thankful I am.
I cried because that means we are one step closer to the hope we need to bring our little one home.
I cried because I know that a financial donation is a personal sacrifice for you.
I cried because of the hope you must have for our family too.
I cried because I get to share with our Little Opia that there were many special angels that helped to bring him/her home to us.
I cried because I have to believe that God is orchestrating not just a miracle for our little family, but perhaps He is also orchestrating something bigger, in and through others -- compassion, awareness, selfless love, faith, and hope.
I cried because you join the "Village of Love" of some of our dearest friends and family that have also stepped out in faith for Little Opia.
And so, Anonymous, you will be in my prayers daily. I lift up words of thanks and blessing for you and yours. You have become a part of our story, a part of our family, and a part of our child in such a special way.
Thank you, my friend. From the bottom of my heart.
Ephesians 3: 14 - 21 ...
I cried because I am so very thankful for your gift, and I wish you could know just how thankful I am.
I cried because that means we are one step closer to the hope we need to bring our little one home.
I cried because I know that a financial donation is a personal sacrifice for you.
I cried because of the hope you must have for our family too.
I cried because I get to share with our Little Opia that there were many special angels that helped to bring him/her home to us.
I cried because I have to believe that God is orchestrating not just a miracle for our little family, but perhaps He is also orchestrating something bigger, in and through others -- compassion, awareness, selfless love, faith, and hope.
I cried because you join the "Village of Love" of some of our dearest friends and family that have also stepped out in faith for Little Opia.
And so, Anonymous, you will be in my prayers daily. I lift up words of thanks and blessing for you and yours. You have become a part of our story, a part of our family, and a part of our child in such a special way.
Thank you, my friend. From the bottom of my heart.
Ephesians 3: 14 - 21 ...
| ||
Saturday, February 23, 2013
One Step at a Time
I have been re-reading Sarah Young's February 1st devotional page over and over. (I wrote about it in the "Hope Floats" post).
I love this: "Follow me one step at a time..."
And so that's what I'm trying to do. Just one step, not the whole mountain.
I think we've narrowed in on an adoption agency. We are hopeful that they are trying to make many things work for us, such as: using most pieces of our dossier, not putting us at the bottom of their wait list, and waiving their application fee. They've also talked about working with families on an individual basis for financing purposes. That is a huge sigh of relief. We don't know what that really could look like, but such a relief to know that they're trying and they're compassionate about our situation.
I've officially gone 5 days with no tears! :) That's a big step. :) I do have to laugh at myself, because I've felt like a crazy person for the last 2 weeks. I find myself going from angry to strong to devastated. My worst times have been the mornings for some reason... and being at church. That's a tricky one since I work at our church too! :) There's no better place to be, no better people to be with ... but it's where my emotions flow I guess!
Tonight I am starting to again feel hope and excitement about bringing a little one home! (Don't ask me the logistics or the hows -- I have no idea :) -- but I'm feeling hopeful and that's very good. Though this experience has brought me to my knees SO many times, I can feel that God is stretching, tugging, pulling, and YANKING me closer to Him. :) I can't say I love how it feels :), but I do love that I'm getting closer to Him. I feel a little fireball starting to form inside me. I'm not sure what He's working on, but I do feel something. There's more for me to do I think.
Ryan and I have been discerning how we're going to secure the funds needed to continue this time. It has been very very difficult asking for help and support. But we've had to kind of suck down our pride, and realize that any financial help is not for us, but rather for a CHILD to have a FAMILY. And we believe whole-heartedly that it is our RESPONSIBILITY to care for the orphans of this world. And so I guess I can consider it a big step for us to come out of our comfort zones with this; but especially to help raise awareness on the orphan crisis, which I am CraZy passionate about!!
One step at a time is feeling pretty good right now. I can do this...
I love this: "Follow me one step at a time..."
And so that's what I'm trying to do. Just one step, not the whole mountain.
I think we've narrowed in on an adoption agency. We are hopeful that they are trying to make many things work for us, such as: using most pieces of our dossier, not putting us at the bottom of their wait list, and waiving their application fee. They've also talked about working with families on an individual basis for financing purposes. That is a huge sigh of relief. We don't know what that really could look like, but such a relief to know that they're trying and they're compassionate about our situation.
I've officially gone 5 days with no tears! :) That's a big step. :) I do have to laugh at myself, because I've felt like a crazy person for the last 2 weeks. I find myself going from angry to strong to devastated. My worst times have been the mornings for some reason... and being at church. That's a tricky one since I work at our church too! :) There's no better place to be, no better people to be with ... but it's where my emotions flow I guess!
Tonight I am starting to again feel hope and excitement about bringing a little one home! (Don't ask me the logistics or the hows -- I have no idea :) -- but I'm feeling hopeful and that's very good. Though this experience has brought me to my knees SO many times, I can feel that God is stretching, tugging, pulling, and YANKING me closer to Him. :) I can't say I love how it feels :), but I do love that I'm getting closer to Him. I feel a little fireball starting to form inside me. I'm not sure what He's working on, but I do feel something. There's more for me to do I think.
Ryan and I have been discerning how we're going to secure the funds needed to continue this time. It has been very very difficult asking for help and support. But we've had to kind of suck down our pride, and realize that any financial help is not for us, but rather for a CHILD to have a FAMILY. And we believe whole-heartedly that it is our RESPONSIBILITY to care for the orphans of this world. And so I guess I can consider it a big step for us to come out of our comfort zones with this; but especially to help raise awareness on the orphan crisis, which I am CraZy passionate about!!
One step at a time is feeling pretty good right now. I can do this...
Monday, February 18, 2013
Do It Anyway
Our Seniors' pastor left these song lyrics in my mailbox at church the other day. Love these words:
DO IT ANYWAY by Martina McBride
You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway.
You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway.
God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway.
This world's gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway.
You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway.
God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway.
DO IT ANYWAY by Martina McBride
You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway.
You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway.
God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway.
This world's gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway.
You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway.
God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Hope Floats!
My dear dear friend, Esther and I met up for a morning coffee yesterday. She and her husband are in the exact same boat as Ryan and I with this whole mix of mess and blessings. (Don't know what I'd be like without her right now!) She worded this whole experience perfectly, "It's like we're on a hamster wheel..."
This week has been nothing short of completely nuts. We've learned that our agency's staff in Ethiopia will need to shut down their side of things in two weeks' time; which means we have a two week window to figure out where to have our dossier sent to. Ideally, we would have it sent on to another agency. In our work to find an agency, we are learning that: 1) Most agencies will require us to start over completely with fees, paperwork, dossier construction, waiting list... everything 2) Most agencies will not waive any of their fees and 3) All agencies are waiting to hear from the Ethiopian government about re-licensure issues. Ethiopia is trying to eliminate the "piggy-backing" of agencies; and because agencies are waiting to hear, many agencies will not talk to us about anything until March. But remember, we need to have this figured out BEFORE March gets here. And to think, that all is just the paperwork chase!
Then there is the financial chase. I will be completely honest. My breath sort of hiccups when I think of this part. Aside from all of our money completely lost in this (which we will be reminded of every single month as we make that stupid payment), we also are faced with the daunting reality of future fees in order to continue.
We also have a bit of a legal chase. We know that we will not recover any of our money, nor are we hopeful about it. But because of the very messy circumstances of our situation (and many other families), and the injustice that has been done, we are seeking legal counsel to give the trustee of this bankruptcy case a clearer picture as to what has happened. The blessing in this is that there are several of us families doing this together, so our fees are do-able.
So that's the "mess" of my week.... but the many, many blessings is what I'm trying to focus on to keep the hope afloat!
I received the best text message early in the week. My friend texted, "Friends don't ask why. Can you please send me Ryan's cell phone number..." It made me laugh out loud; because knowing my clever friend, I knew she must have had something up her sleeve. But I never would have been able to guess that she and her husband arranged for Ryan and I to enjoy a Valentine's Day dinner together, while they took Johnny and Tenleigh and created a wonderfully fun and special Valentine's Day for them too, with their own three kids! It was awesome!! :)
Last night my brother and sister-in-law took the kids for the whole night and Ryan and I used Christmas gift cards to go out to eat and slow down for a bit. So great to have a quiet night! Nick and Anna -- Auntie and Uncle/Brother and Sister of the Year!! :)
Yesterday we found in our mailbox two very sweet cards from people expressing love and support for us. So thoughtful and so appreciated!
And the emails, messages, and hugs continue to come. We are so very blessed.
It is our hope that this week we will be able to make a decision about what our next steps will be. Tough timing that Ryan will be gone all week -- so let's hope that nothing crazy happens this time while he's gone. Our track record is not good for this. Crazy things ALWAYS happen when he's gone.
For Christmas this year a friend gave me a beautiful devotional book by Sarah Young. Sarah wrote the devotional in the first person, as though Jesus were speaking... and the whole book shares Sarah's personal reflections on certain Scripture verses. I have been re-reading February 1st's time and time again. Sarah is reflecting on Psalm 18:29 and Psalm 91:11 ...
Follow me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet, you tell lMe how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't' know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways.
Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.
This week has been nothing short of completely nuts. We've learned that our agency's staff in Ethiopia will need to shut down their side of things in two weeks' time; which means we have a two week window to figure out where to have our dossier sent to. Ideally, we would have it sent on to another agency. In our work to find an agency, we are learning that: 1) Most agencies will require us to start over completely with fees, paperwork, dossier construction, waiting list... everything 2) Most agencies will not waive any of their fees and 3) All agencies are waiting to hear from the Ethiopian government about re-licensure issues. Ethiopia is trying to eliminate the "piggy-backing" of agencies; and because agencies are waiting to hear, many agencies will not talk to us about anything until March. But remember, we need to have this figured out BEFORE March gets here. And to think, that all is just the paperwork chase!
Then there is the financial chase. I will be completely honest. My breath sort of hiccups when I think of this part. Aside from all of our money completely lost in this (which we will be reminded of every single month as we make that stupid payment), we also are faced with the daunting reality of future fees in order to continue.
We also have a bit of a legal chase. We know that we will not recover any of our money, nor are we hopeful about it. But because of the very messy circumstances of our situation (and many other families), and the injustice that has been done, we are seeking legal counsel to give the trustee of this bankruptcy case a clearer picture as to what has happened. The blessing in this is that there are several of us families doing this together, so our fees are do-able.
So that's the "mess" of my week.... but the many, many blessings is what I'm trying to focus on to keep the hope afloat!
I received the best text message early in the week. My friend texted, "Friends don't ask why. Can you please send me Ryan's cell phone number..." It made me laugh out loud; because knowing my clever friend, I knew she must have had something up her sleeve. But I never would have been able to guess that she and her husband arranged for Ryan and I to enjoy a Valentine's Day dinner together, while they took Johnny and Tenleigh and created a wonderfully fun and special Valentine's Day for them too, with their own three kids! It was awesome!! :)
Last night my brother and sister-in-law took the kids for the whole night and Ryan and I used Christmas gift cards to go out to eat and slow down for a bit. So great to have a quiet night! Nick and Anna -- Auntie and Uncle/Brother and Sister of the Year!! :)
Yesterday we found in our mailbox two very sweet cards from people expressing love and support for us. So thoughtful and so appreciated!
And the emails, messages, and hugs continue to come. We are so very blessed.
It is our hope that this week we will be able to make a decision about what our next steps will be. Tough timing that Ryan will be gone all week -- so let's hope that nothing crazy happens this time while he's gone. Our track record is not good for this. Crazy things ALWAYS happen when he's gone.
For Christmas this year a friend gave me a beautiful devotional book by Sarah Young. Sarah wrote the devotional in the first person, as though Jesus were speaking... and the whole book shares Sarah's personal reflections on certain Scripture verses. I have been re-reading February 1st's time and time again. Sarah is reflecting on Psalm 18:29 and Psalm 91:11 ...
Follow me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet, you tell lMe how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't' know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways.
Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Words to Live By...
I think that I remember the first time I experienced my grandma's mind starting to change. I was staying at the lake with her right after Ryan and I were married. He was on a fishing trip with all the men in my family, and I got to spend time with Grandma! On my way to the lake, I was in a car accident, and totaled our car. Grandma was always a crier (good tears, sad tears, always a crier... all of us girls in that family took after her! :). And so it did not surprise me one bit that she started crying on the phone when I called to tell her that I'd be a little late.
When the tow truck driver finally got me to the cabin, Grandma was watching for me at the back porch window, where she would always have her greetings and farewells for everyone. She was weepy and gave me a big hug. And then she said, "Oh honey.... just slap on a little lipstick, you'll be fine." And then she gave me a few little slaps on my cheeks, like she always did.
It made me smile and giggle and kind of raise my eyebrows a bit. "Slap on a little lipstick?" I don't recall her ever saying that before... so it seemed a bit goofy to me at the time. But oh, how those words have been sort of like a mantra time-and-time again, for different seasons in my life. Grandma was an amazing example of a godly woman, and her "go-to" was no doubt Jesus Christ. But this little phrase reminds me to stay tough, keep my head high, and press on! Grandma knew all about that too. When I'm crabby, I'll remind myself to just "slap on a little lipstick." When I don't want to do X, Y, or Z... "just slap on a little lipstick..." If someone's really on my nerves, I tell myself to just "slap on a little lipstick and get over it." Grandma would laugh right now if I could tell her all this. "Oh, Katie!" I can just hear her! :)
Many many words have been shared with us in the past few days. Words of encouragement and prayers. Words from Scripture, and words to remind us of our big BIG God. I am completely overwhelmed and extremely grateful for every. single. word. Every one of them.
Tonight as I wrap up my evening, some words are still ringing in my heart:
"Where do you go from here? You go to your knees."
"God's plan for you outweighs the circumstances of your day."
"Kiss your children. Love your husband."
"God doesn't miss anything... "
"I will be your prayer warrior..."
"Please let me know if you need anything while going through this."
"God knows your child... nothing has changed."
"Remember, this is not too big for God.
"This whole situation is just messed up. Messed. Up."
"Praying for your strength and stamina and not to let the enemy win..."
"Do it anyway."
And last but not least, the echoes in my heart of my amazing grandma whom I miss terribly right now.... "Just slap on a little lipstick, honey. You'll be fine."
Grandma, I am slappin' on some FIRE ENGINE RED lipstick, and I will not bow out of this fight.
When the tow truck driver finally got me to the cabin, Grandma was watching for me at the back porch window, where she would always have her greetings and farewells for everyone. She was weepy and gave me a big hug. And then she said, "Oh honey.... just slap on a little lipstick, you'll be fine." And then she gave me a few little slaps on my cheeks, like she always did.
It made me smile and giggle and kind of raise my eyebrows a bit. "Slap on a little lipstick?" I don't recall her ever saying that before... so it seemed a bit goofy to me at the time. But oh, how those words have been sort of like a mantra time-and-time again, for different seasons in my life. Grandma was an amazing example of a godly woman, and her "go-to" was no doubt Jesus Christ. But this little phrase reminds me to stay tough, keep my head high, and press on! Grandma knew all about that too. When I'm crabby, I'll remind myself to just "slap on a little lipstick." When I don't want to do X, Y, or Z... "just slap on a little lipstick..." If someone's really on my nerves, I tell myself to just "slap on a little lipstick and get over it." Grandma would laugh right now if I could tell her all this. "Oh, Katie!" I can just hear her! :)
Many many words have been shared with us in the past few days. Words of encouragement and prayers. Words from Scripture, and words to remind us of our big BIG God. I am completely overwhelmed and extremely grateful for every. single. word. Every one of them.
Tonight as I wrap up my evening, some words are still ringing in my heart:
"Where do you go from here? You go to your knees."
"God's plan for you outweighs the circumstances of your day."
"Kiss your children. Love your husband."
"God doesn't miss anything... "
"I will be your prayer warrior..."
"Please let me know if you need anything while going through this."
"God knows your child... nothing has changed."
"Remember, this is not too big for God.
"This whole situation is just messed up. Messed. Up."
"Praying for your strength and stamina and not to let the enemy win..."
"Do it anyway."
And last but not least, the echoes in my heart of my amazing grandma whom I miss terribly right now.... "Just slap on a little lipstick, honey. You'll be fine."
Grandma, I am slappin' on some FIRE ENGINE RED lipstick, and I will not bow out of this fight.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Where do we go from here?
What in the world just happened!? And where in the world do we go from here?
I am trying to wrap my brain around this sequence of extremely sad events -- and I'm trying to keep hope in my heart, for something that has been a part of me for 4 years now. But I have to say, I am having an extremely hard time.
Last night, we were able to have an hour long phone conversation with the Executive Director of our new agency that was given our case. I just don't even know where to start to explain anything -- and I'm completely exhausted (physically, emotionally, mentally....), so I'll give the nutshell and spare some details.
Our agency went completely bankrupt, did not share all details with new agency. New agency scrambling to find and understand all cases and dossiers, and other paperwork. All of our money completely gone -- as in $XX, 000 completely gone, never-to-be-seen again. We are at a crossroads: do we start all over -- paperwork, money, everything everything EVERYTHING -- or face this as the end of our adoption journey? We really do not have the financial means to continue to invest -- after all, this would be our family's THIRD attempt for a happy ending. And if we were to start over, we would be paying for our failed adoption, PLUS new one. That is not possible.
As I type this, my throat is completely closed shut and my eyes are so swollen with tears. I feel such a loss. When I lost my first pregnancy, it was such a loss of a dream, and of hope. I am re-living that again. It was very difficult to be at work today.
And yet, there are moments in which I find myself so flippin' ANGRY I want to scream. I'm angry with our adoption agency, I'm angry that our world has so much corruption, I'm angry that there are BABIES and CHILDREN that do not have FAMILIES, I'm angry that most people don't seem to DO or CHANGE things, even though those things make them "sorry" or "sad" or "surprised", I'm angry that our friends that we love like family are also in this terrible situation and hurting too.
So there it is. Where in the world do we go from here??
I am trying to wrap my brain around this sequence of extremely sad events -- and I'm trying to keep hope in my heart, for something that has been a part of me for 4 years now. But I have to say, I am having an extremely hard time.
Last night, we were able to have an hour long phone conversation with the Executive Director of our new agency that was given our case. I just don't even know where to start to explain anything -- and I'm completely exhausted (physically, emotionally, mentally....), so I'll give the nutshell and spare some details.
Our agency went completely bankrupt, did not share all details with new agency. New agency scrambling to find and understand all cases and dossiers, and other paperwork. All of our money completely gone -- as in $XX, 000 completely gone, never-to-be-seen again. We are at a crossroads: do we start all over -- paperwork, money, everything everything EVERYTHING -- or face this as the end of our adoption journey? We really do not have the financial means to continue to invest -- after all, this would be our family's THIRD attempt for a happy ending. And if we were to start over, we would be paying for our failed adoption, PLUS new one. That is not possible.
As I type this, my throat is completely closed shut and my eyes are so swollen with tears. I feel such a loss. When I lost my first pregnancy, it was such a loss of a dream, and of hope. I am re-living that again. It was very difficult to be at work today.
And yet, there are moments in which I find myself so flippin' ANGRY I want to scream. I'm angry with our adoption agency, I'm angry that our world has so much corruption, I'm angry that there are BABIES and CHILDREN that do not have FAMILIES, I'm angry that most people don't seem to DO or CHANGE things, even though those things make them "sorry" or "sad" or "surprised", I'm angry that our friends that we love like family are also in this terrible situation and hurting too.
So there it is. Where in the world do we go from here??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)