Monday, March 4, 2013
When I'm On My Knees...
"There I am before the Love that changes me.
I don't know how, but there's power when I'm on my knees..."
I've heard these lyrics probably a thousand times, and I've always loved Jaci Valesquez's song. But I can't say that the words had ever really spoken to me as much as they do now. These last few weeks have brought me to my knees on so many levels.
I think that most people might think that our financial loss is the main thing that has brought me to my knees. And yes, that's a great part of it. But it's really become about so much more than loss. The blessings far outweigh the loss.
I've been brought to my knees in Thanksgiving -- for the amazing, courageous, and thoughtful friends that have decidedly turned themselves into little "warriors" for our family. Trying to spread the word to others about ways to support us. I am completely humbled at the time and dedication that they have put into these efforts.
I've been brought to my knees as I learn the horror and realities facing orphans in today's world. I am devouring a new book I just found called Orphan Justice. Mmm... it's a good one. A "must read" for every Christian I believe.
I've been brought to my knees as God is teaching me about patience. As we work through the next steps of our adoption process, we are waiting to hear back on some dossier details with the agency that we're hoping to contract with. And of course... still trying to get our dossier back into our hands. That feels a bit like a nail-biter to me. I can handle dealing with agencies here in the US, but I don't totally love that our 6 month life project is in Addis Ababa right now, and our former agency is virtually non-existent.
I am on my knees in prayer constantly. For direction and clarity, for courage and patience. For continued faith and hope. I love the way the words in Scripture are jumping out at me as if I have never read them before.
And let's not forget when I'm on my knees playing "Tickle Monster", "Beauty Shop", or "Uno". These beautiful babes of mine upstairs in their beds. So healthy, rowdy, and pure. Their belly laughs and precious imaginations bring us such joy, every day.
When I am on my knees I see the blessings, and the Love that changes me.
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Hi,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog when I Googled "CWA Families after bankruptcy".
We started our journey with CWA 4 years ago (and that does not include the year of research to choose the agency). We submitted our dossier to China 3 years ago. And, like you it's over this month.
We're not sure what we are going to do now. We got a message from Great Wall agency giving us a day to "pay them $2000 transfer fee to continue". Feels like extortion, so I'm really hesitant to give them any $-- not that I could come up with $2000 in 1 day anyway. I see you are a Christian, so I suspect that you wonder some of the same things that we do. Such as "how did this happen when I was so sure that I was following what God wanted us to do." Ironically, we have since joined a primarily Chinese church and our 2 biological kids have mostly Asian-background friends. With their blue eyes and blonde hair, they stand out and wonder why they don't have brown hair and brown eyes "like everyone else".
I have a question for you: Do you have the impression that families have any case in bankruptcy court? I keep getting the notifications, but I don't think we have a case. What do you think?
Praying for you and the other CWA families. You are welcome to contact me if you want. If not, that's ok too. I'm just encouraged reading your blog and knowing that we aren't the only ones.
Katie (yep, and my name is Katie too)
Hi Katie! Thank you for your comment. I'd love to share some thoughts with you. Can you send me an email? heartstrings2911@yahoo.com Look forward to it! :)
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