One Step at a Time

I have been re-reading Sarah Young's February 1st devotional page over and over.  (I wrote about it in the "Hope Floats" post).

I love this: "Follow me one step at a time..."

And so that's what I'm trying to do.  Just one step, not the whole mountain.

I think we've narrowed in on an adoption agency. We are hopeful that they are trying to make many things work for us, such as: using most pieces of our dossier, not putting us at the bottom of their wait list, and waiving their application fee.  They've also talked about working with families on an individual basis for financing purposes.  That is a huge sigh of relief.  We don't know what that really could look like, but such a relief to know that they're trying and they're compassionate about our situation.

I've officially gone 5 days with no tears! :)  That's a big step. :) I do have to laugh at myself, because I've felt like a crazy person for the last 2 weeks.  I find myself going from angry to strong to devastated.  My worst times have been the mornings for some reason... and being at church.  That's a tricky one since I work at our church too! :)  There's no better place to be, no better people to be with ... but it's where my emotions flow I guess!

Tonight I am starting to again feel hope and excitement about bringing a little one home!  (Don't ask me the logistics or the hows -- I have no idea :) -- but I'm feeling hopeful and that's very good. Though this experience has brought me to my knees SO many times, I can feel that God is stretching, tugging, pulling, and YANKING me closer to Him. :)  I can't say I love how it feels :), but I do love that I'm getting closer to Him. I feel a little fireball starting to form inside me.  I'm not sure what He's working on, but I do feel something.  There's more for me to do I think.

Ryan and I have been discerning how we're going to secure the funds needed to continue this time.  It has been very very difficult asking for help and support.  But we've had to kind of suck down our pride, and realize that any financial help is not for us, but rather for a CHILD to have a FAMILY.  And we believe whole-heartedly that it is our RESPONSIBILITY to care for the orphans of this world.  And so I guess I can consider it a big step for us to come out of our comfort zones with this; but especially to help raise awareness on the orphan crisis, which I am CraZy passionate about!!

One step at a time is feeling pretty good right now.  I can do this...