A Perfect Storm

"A perfect storm of circumstances that has made it difficult and in some cases impossible to continue..."

As I read the words on my computer my eyes became blurry with tears and I pulled the cover down on my laptop.  I could not read the whole thing at once.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Look again.

"Our struggle to adapt and survive under new conditions..."

Breathe in, breathe out.

While I was in college I had the opportunity to sing in a choir for all the years I was there.  Like high school, I loved every minute of it -- especially the people with whom I came to know.  But the music was (and still is) very important to me as well.  I have many songs that rank at the top of my list; it's hard to choose a 'favorite' when you've been blessed by literally hundreds of pieces.  But one particular piece has always been one of my favorites.  We sang it at one of our choir friends' funerals, we sang it at the conclusion of several concerts, we recorded it to CD.  There was always one specific line from that piece that I really really loved.  It slowed me down.  It brought the music INTO my heart, and FROM my heart.  It gave me pause.


"No storm can shake my inmost calm, while to that rock I'm clinging."


In my mind, I always sang: "... while to that Rock (note the emphasis) I'm clinging."


Yesterday our family, and many many others (including very dear friends of ours), received the very sad and totally and completely shocking news that our adoption agency has filed for bankruptcy and is closing their doors effective immediately.  The door has been closed on yet another attempt to our Baby Opia.  A perfect storm.

Oh my heart! The sadness came fast but gentle -- after all, there's nothing we can do about it.  But oh the sadness I feel not just for our family and friends (known and unknown), but also the CHILDREN with whom our agency worked, in multiple countries., and the STAFF that depend on this work.

Our family does not know what exactly this means for us.  We do know that our 'case' has been transferred to another agency.  We are very anxious to speak to them very soon.

My Ryan -- his faith is so steady.  "This is just another part of our story, our journey.  It's still in God's hands."  (Do you see why I love this man!? :)

And so I cling to the words from one of my favorite songs:

"No storm can shake my inmost calm, while to that ROCK I'm clinging. While Love is Lord o'er heaven and earth... how can I keep from singing?"

And my momma -- to her words I will also be clinging: "Turn it over, hon!  Trust and know that it will be good.  Get out of the way!"  (Do you see why I love this woman!? :)

Yes Mom, I hear you.  I am laying it down.