It Arrived!!

Uffda -- I tell you.  Waiting for that PAIR letter to get here made me nothing short of crazy.  Seriously. Most people receive their letters within a few days of getting clearance from Embassy.  Ours took 16 days.  Poor Ryan.  Every evening when I'd get home from school, I'd scoot to the mailbox, and come back into the house with my head down and a big "Hummph, puff, shrug, stomp."  The kids would meet me at the door and usually Tenleigh would shout, "Did Eli's paper come today, Mom!?"  Oh, I'm telling you.  Torture to wait for that thing.  And apparently we're not supposed to contact USCIS about it until we've been waiting for 20 days.  Whatever, man.  That's a very difficult thing to ask a waiting family!  I broke the rules and emailed them on Day 13.  The hold up was due to the Christmas and New Year holiday.  I figured as such, but of course my nerves put me in panic mode and every worst case scenario kept running through my mind.

Honestly, this was one of the trickiest "seasons" for me since our 2nd agency's bankruptcy.  I think part of it was because this is the absolute CLOSEST we've come to bringing home a child, and I just can not imagine losing Eli at this point.  The recent adoption news coming out of Ethiopia has me on "high alert", and the journeys of friends really tug at my heart as well.  I often feel just terrible fretting about our situation, when I know that our friends are deeply worried or anxious or weary about their own situations.

And so through this month I've been trying really hard to remain hopeful and faithful, and allowing God to just do His thing.  But it's not always easy, I must say, when I want things to go in 'my' ways, 'my' timing.

My day of fasting and prayer last week was SO needed and SO good.  Several years ago my mom gave me a prayer box, which I just love.  I write my prayers on cards and place them in the box.  Then when a prayer is answered, I write about God's answers to my prayers on the cards as well.  I love looking back on the cards and being able to write how God has answered some of them.  Some are not answered in the ways I would have expected, but in time I see how His answers were far better than what I could have imagined.

I know I've shared before how I love that the Spirit puts special prayers on my heart -- people that I haven't thought about in awhile, or Scripture, or special words, whatever. Last Monday when I was fasting and praying, I was in the shower and again the thoughts of a "safe place" for Ethiopian single mothers to go came to me.  (It's my understanding that in Ethiopia, single pregnant mothers are often ostracized by their family and left with absolutely no support.  Because of this, many women choose abortion or abandonment for their infants.  It's illegal for them to leave their babies at hospitals or orphanages.)  This absolutely kills me.  I don't understand it.  For several months I've been thinking about a way that I can help these women.  So anyway, I'm sudsing up my hair and thinking about a safe place for these women and I started praying about this.  The words, "a place of hope" came to me.  When I returned downstairs I allowed myself a few minutes to jump on my computer because I was feeling so prompted to search.  This is what I typed into Google: "safe places for Ethiopian single women to have their babies"  That should do it, right?

YES IT DID! Because you know where God led me!!??? To THIS amazing organization.  And let it be known -- the ONLY maternity home for single mothers in Ethiopia! Oh my glory, there were tears as I read through the website.  www.livinghopeethiopia.org.  God spoke many things to me on this day of prayer -- but THIS, definitely took the cake. :)  Later in the evening I emailed the founder of the ministry.  I am so moved by their mission and what they do.  Ryan and I are so excited to get involved with this organization.

During these weary times, I pray and I also spend a lot of time reading and listening to meaningful music.  My favorite Christian music group is Selah.  Love, love, LOVE them!  Their rendition of Be Still My Soul is so beautiful.  I love these words:

Be still my soul: The Lord is on they side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God, to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still my soul: Thy best and heavenly friend.
Through thorny ways, leads to a joyful end.

Be still my soul: they God doth undertake.
To guide the future, as He has the past.
They hope, they confidence; Let nothing shake.
Be still my soul.  The winds and waves still know.
His voice Who ruled them, while He dwelt below.

Read it again.