His timing is simply perfection … as in, to the exact MILLISECOND. He leaves nothing out. His attention to detail is amazing.
You know, when we received our referral in July we pretty much knew that there was 1 particular Ethiopian government letter and signature that would need to be added to our file before time of court. Our wait for this letter was the most nauseating roller-coaster ride I've ever been on. Go -- Stop. Yes -- No. I'm Hopeful -- I'm Not. I'm at Peace -- I'm Anxious. You get the picture. It was like this for me for 7 months. And during this whole time of course, my main thoughts were centered around Eli. We wanted so badly to know him before his 1st birthday (which is next Friday!). I wanted my maternity leave timing to work out conveniently with my teaching schedule. The pictures of him growing and changing each month have been celebrated by us over and over -- and yet, each one leaves me hurting because I'm missing his milestones, his personality, his growth. You maybe have noticed that this wait has become "all about me". It has been about what I want, what I desire, what I think should happen and when. And while I KNOW that God has been working and doing and I've been really leaning into Him for hope and faith and patience -- there's just no way that I could have ever guessed how perfectly timed His works have been. Nor could I have ever guessed the work that He was doing...
I have a very special friend; I'll call her "S". S has been through far too much heartache in the last few years. And because of these heartaches, her relationship with Jesus has gone through some seasons. Her season this year has been much like our Minnesota winter. Cold with teases of sun, gusty winds that keep us inside, and dips of frigid temps that last way too long and literally leave us "frozen". But the latter part of this season for her has been as bright as our days when the sun is bouncing off of our pure white snow. Fairly recently I was with S on one of these days. We were outside with our kids and I could barely keep my eyes open! If you're from the Midwest you can appreciate just how bright the snow is when the sun bounces off of it. It's hard to see on these days. I couldn't see beyond a few feet in front of me. But S is much smarter than I. She had her Songlasses on.
And again she did just 2 days ago when my Songlasses were clouded over with the fog of despair and desperation, tears and frustration and worry. I couldn't see far beyond "me". The week before I was feeling such peace and surrender to God's timing and God's will. But this week once again was just so much harder for me. So I committed myself to being very intentional about tuning in to God's works:
So on Monday, Esther (one of my very best friends and also going through adoption) and I committed to send daily scripture verses to each other, prayer requests, and encouragement. Nancy (my very special on-line adoptive momma friend) and I determined that we were not going to call or email our agency with inquiries about our letters but rather we'd just wait to hear from them.
I also received some awesome "God winks" this week. I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn on Tuesday (as in 3:30 am) and found 2 wonderful messages from Ann Voskamp in my Facebook feed. And on Wednesday my heart was overflowing with love and joy as I sang praise and worship songs with my kindergarteners and other children at our Learning Center during our children's chapel time. There is NOTHING as healing as hearing children sing (read: shout!) these lyrics with SUCH JOY:
"You are the way, the truth and the life. We live by faith and not by sight…"
"He knows me. He loves me. God is listening. He knows every word before I even say it. He hears every prayer before I even pray it."
"God is watching, watching over you. 24/7, watching over you. Your life is in His hands. He's got great big plans 'cuz he's watching over you."
"Joy unspeakable that won't go away, and just enough strength to live through today. So I never have to worry what tomorrow will bring. Cuz my faith is on solid rock and I am counting on God."
"Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
We returned from Chapel at about 10:15 and lo and behold, our agency had just emailed that they had received our needed signature. !!! I could.not.even. COULD.NOT.EVEN!!
Now I need to take you back to my dear friend, S. I texted her to let her know about this amazingly good news. Every day for the last several months she has asked about our letter and given me much encouragement in this wait. Her reply back to me put me in tears and nearly made me drop to my knees. You see, she went "back to Jesus" the night before and that morning -- PRAYING for us and Eli, BELIEVING SOMETHING IN HER SOUL that she hadn't believed in a very long time. My friends, I whole-heartedly believe that God was waiting to hear from HER. My very special friend, whose faith has been understandably shaken -- He was working in HER, through our little adoption journey. THIS is why we were waiting so long.
And as I told S, I would wait forever if it meant someone found rest in Jesus again.
I share this story with S's permission. But I am still marveling in awe of God's perfect timing. He leaves absolutely nothing out. S's part of our journey is the true miracle in this story. What a privilege to witness and be in it.
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